Watch: Worried about making friends

Sunday, 19 July 2020

After not clicking with people in first year, Jess, Jigsaw Volunteer talks to Conor, Jigsaw Clinician about heading back to college and being worried about making friends all over again.

Conor explains that when we have had bad experiences with friendships, picking ourselves back up it can be challenging. We might be feeling rejected, or a bit hopeless about meeting new people.

Conor

Jigsaw Clinician

Now there’s space for new people who are more in line with where we are at in our life.

People come in and out of our lives

Think about your life as a whole. You probably recognize a pattern of people coming in and out at different points. As we go through college, remember that people can be a part of your life for a particular period of time. Now there’s space for new people who are more in line with how we’ve developed and where we’re at.

Fear of rejection

When we think about meeting new people, the fear of rejection can be difficult. If we absorb that fear it can limit us. It can cause us to go inward and isolate ourselves, so that we don’t have to face that fear again.

Conor

Jigsaw Clinician

Learning that we can cope with rejection and not be completely crushed is something that is going to help us move forward in life.

Coping

Learning we can cope with rejection and not be completely crushed helps us move forward in life. We aren’t free from the risk of rejection at any age. It helps when to understand that we can experience it and it doesn’t mean that we are a bad person. Nor does it mean we are unlikeable or unloveable, it’s just that things have changed.

Tell yourself “I’m OK and can move forward” and “people will like and accept me for who I am, if I can open myself up to that”.