Ask Jigsaw: I can’t figure out if I’m lesbian or bi

Wednesday, 13 January 2021

I don’t feel like myself anymore, like I’m stuck in a looking glass trying to break free. I can’t talk to anyone and I feel alone. I hate the fact that I know if I try to talk to anyone it will be around school the next day. I want to tell people who I really am that I don’t want to be in a perfect ken and barbie marriage when I’m older I just want barbie. The bad part is I can’t figure out if I’m lesbian or bi I’m so confused I feel like no one will accept me. I don’t know what to do and I need some advice?

-silver123

Hi Silver123,

I know how lonely and isolating it can feel when we feel like we have no one to turn to. I am really glad you reached out for support today.

Kevin

Jigsaw clinician

Only you get to decided who you want to be and who you love.

It is totally OK to not want the perfect Barbie and Ken marriage. Both Barbie and Ken represent ideals or imagined perfect forms, which no one can ever reach no matter their sexuality or gender. Barbie and Ken are not real but you are. Only you get to decide who you want to be and who you love. Nobody gets to decide that for you and there is no timeframe for when you have to have this figured out by.

Kevin

Jigsaw clinician

Discovering who you are can be a liberating and amazing experience.

Discovering who you are

I can understand why you might be searching for a clearer answer or label regarding your sexuality, however often those things are the end of the journey. Maybe right now, you are just taking your first few steps on the road. Although, it can be a confusing time, it can also be a time of exploration, excitement and fun where you get to discover who you are underneath all the labels. Discovering who you are can be a liberating and amazing experience. This article about coming out about your sexuality has some more information, which you might find helpful.

The important thing to know is that you are not alone with this. Both LGBT Ireland and Belong To offer a range of supports for young people who are questioning their sexuality. Some young people we chat to find it helpful to join peer support groups where they can meet people on a similar journey.

Good luck on your journey of discovery.

Warm wishes.

Kevin