Feeling lonely at school

Why you might feel lonely

A lot of the times people feel lonely at school are if you’ve changed schools recently, had a falling out with someone, or after summer or mid-term break. You might also feel lonely if your friends have moved on in their interests, or if they’re in an exam year and you’re not.

Growing up is hard, because people’s interests and attitudes change. Friendships ebb and flow, and sometimes people might take sides if there’s been a relationship break-up or an argument between mutual friends.

Focus on the positives

Even if you feel like you have no-one to turn to, think about the things you’re good at and enjoy. Maybe you’re really good at art, or English or listening to people. Being a good listener can make you a good friend, because people want to be listened to, really listened to.

It can be hard to think about these things if you’re feeling low or lonely, but it’s important to try. If you’re feeling lonely now because you had a falling out with someone, maybe you can think about other groups and what brings them together. For example, if you know there’s a group of people who are really into art or music or reading, you could try to chat to them.

Look for easy conversation starters

If you know someone likes the same things as you, it can be an easier way to start a chat. Maybe you’ve seen someone with a sticker or badge for your favourite band, you can ask them about it. Or you noticed them after-school or online doing something you’re interested in.

Be kind to yourself

When you’ve been struggling at school, it’s important to be kind to yourself in the evening. Do things that you find enjoyable and relaxing, to limit ‘doom-scrolling’ and comparing yourself to others. If you’re not sure what you really like doing, try a few things to see what makes you feel content and comfortable afterwards.

There’s no magic button to press to stop feeling lonely, but a lot of feelings pass, and you will find your ‘tribe’ eventually. In the meantime, spend your free time focusing on what you like.

But if you’re feeling lonely because you’re being bullied or picked on, speak to a teacher or parent. If you are feeling lonely and anxious and sad, maybe you might need to speak to a professional. There’s lots of people out there who will help you.