Ask Jigsaw: I want to help my friend but I don’t know what to do
Ask Jigsaw: I want to help my friend but I don’t know what to do
Wednesday, 22 July 2020
A close friend of mine is going through a very tough time at the moment and I dont know what to do. Her parents wont help her get support because they dont understand what shes going through. I want to help her but I dont know what to do. She is willing to try a chat anonymously but I dont know where to find any number, can you help?
-Bumblebee
Hello Bumblebee,
It sounds like you and your friend have a very close relationship, and it’s great that she trusts you enough to share her problems with you. As she has not told many others, particularly her parents, it might feel like there is pressure for you to support her on your own. There are lots of things that you can do to support your friend. However, you are right to suggest that your friend gets help from others. Dealing with this on your own could lead you to feel a little stressed yourself, so do make sure you are looking after your own mental health.
It’s very kind of you to take on looking into mental health supports for your friend. However, it would be important for her to try to help her parents understand what she is going through. This is because if she is under 18, she will need her parent’s consent to use most services.
It’s useful to let your friend know of different supports available. For example, at Jigsaw we offer anonymous online group chats, and the Crisis Text Line offers text based support from trained volunteers. Ultimately, however, it’s your friend’s responsibility to decide on the right support for her.
It is also worth remembering the value of your role as a friend, not a mental health professional. Looking up services together could be a supportive thing to do, but take time to do something fun together too.
I hope this has been helpful and your friend gets the support she needs.
Best wishes,
Brendan, Jigsaw Clinician
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