Ask Jigsaw: Self-harming and feeling trapped

Friday, 04 September 2020

hi if you are self harming and your mam knows you have a history of it, is it ok for her to tell you to kill yourself and hit you even if it was a couple of times. everything is ok now but im not allowed leave the house because i’m grounded for drinking but she thinks i don’t have a phone and i feel trapped and i have started self harming again and having panick attacks.
tasha05xo

Hi Tasha05xo,

It sounds like things are really difficult for you at the moment. Thank you for reaching out to us.

Get support

Family conflict can make us say things we don’t mean, but it is not okay for your mam to tell you to kill yourself. You should never be made to feel like your life is not important. You do not deserve to be continually subjected to hurtful comments.

It is also never okay to be hit by a parent even if it was only a couple of times.

It is really important to talk to someone about what has happened so you can get the right support. Are there any adults in your life that you trust to speak to? You can also speak Tusla, the Children and Family Agency, who will be able to help. Childline are available to listen and support on 1800 66 66 66 or text 50101.

Self-harm

It is concerning to hear that you are currently self-harming, but thank you for being so honest about it. I would really urge you to get support with this, either with an adult that you know or trust, or with a support service. Pieta House offer free counselling support to those who are self-harming. You can call them on 1800 247 247 or text HELP to 51444.

Shona

Jigsaw Clinician

I know it can be daunting to tell someone how we are feeling, but the right person will want to help you through this.

Panic attacks

Experiencing panic attacks can be quite scary. That trapped feeling, along with other physical sensations can be uncomfortable and overwhelming. When we focus on the physical sensations, this can add to the anxiousness, and our mind can start to race and think of the worst possible scenario.

There are different ways to manage those feelings, before they become unbearable. It might be helpful to begin to recognise your thinking patterns, or to practice some relaxation techniques.

The hardest part is reaching out, and you have shown such strength by letting us know what’s going on for you. I hope you can take the next step and receive the support that you deserve.

Best wishes,

Shona

Jigsaw clinician