Ask Jigsaw: I recently lost a family member

Wednesday, 03 February 2021

Hi jigsaw, I recently lost a family member over the Christmas. I’ve been struggling in lockdown as I have so much time to sit around idle. The only thing is, I cant seem to accept it. I can’t believe he’s really gone and I feel like at any moment I will see him walk through the door. I didn’t even cry at the funeral. I feel as though I have been on autopilot ever since. Is this normal? Please help

-Ella

Hi Ella,

I’m so sorry to hear that you lost a family member over the Christmas. That must have been so difficult, particularly during COVID with restrictions on funerals. I hear you about struggling with lockdown and having so much more time to think.

Claudia

Jigsaw Clinician

Losing someone close to you is one of the hardest things to experience. It’s definitely common to be on autopilot mode as it can be so challenging to cope with loss.

How we experience grief

The way that we experience grief can come in waves. There can be points in time where the feelings are intense or painful, and others when we’re feeling okay. It is ok to cry or not to cry about what has happened. Everyone processes and deals with grief differently and there will be some days that are better than others. Losing someone close to you is one of the hardest things to experience. It’s definitely common to be on autopilot mode as it can be so challenging to cope with loss.

Claudia

Jigsaw Clinician

Losing someone close to you is one of the hardest things to experience. It’s definitely common to be on autopilot mode as it can be so challenging to cope with loss.

Getting support

Reaching out to others can be really helpful so that you don’t have to manage this all on your own. When we push down feelings and emotions, they can often bubble up and make things difficult. Perhaps think about the different people in your life, teachers, relatives, parents of friends. Is there anyone that you could start to open up to a bit?

Sometimes, it is helpful to look for support outside of our immediate circle. If you would like to talk to someone at Jigsaw, our live chat is available Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 1-5pm, and Tuesday and Thursday from 2-8pm.

I really hope that things will get easier for you with time! Thank you for getting in touch, and take care.

Warm wishes,

Claudia