Ask Jigsaw: Missing out on college experience

Monday, 23 November 2020

Hi,

Lately I’ve been feeling very down and not being able to feel positive. I’m a college student, but haven’t been able to move away from home because of the virus. I live in a rural area where I don’t know many people and I feel very isolated. Many of my friends have moved away and are having fun in student accommodation.

I feel as if the “best years” of my life are wasting away before me and I am not getting the college experience. My last year in college starts next year. I am afraid that it will too be wasted with restrictions and having no social life. I am the youngest in my family and when I compare my college experience to my siblings it upsets me, as I feel as if I will never get that.

Being stuck at home, bored and lonely has made me feel constantly down, anxious and stressed. I know that nothing can be done to change my circumstances, but how can I help myself to feel some happiness. Thanks

-Lulu17

Hi Lulu17,

Your reaction to the Covid-19 restrictions is something we have heard from many young people. Being unable to move away for the college year feels unfair, and I can understand why you are feeling anxious and feeling down at home.

Shona

Jigsaw clinician

We can make assumptions that everyone else is having a great time, but this is not necessarily the case.

Isolation

Covid-19 has created huge challenges, and that sense of loneliness and fear of missing out can be overwhelming. We can make assumptions that everyone else is having a great time, but this is not necessarily the case. Remember that despite your friends being in college accommodation, their college experience is very different this year too.

While you cannot be with your friends, making a conscious effort to stay in touch and maintain your support systems can boost your mood. Things like FaceTime and WhatsApp chat are great for a catch up.

Routine

It makes sense that you are bored at home. Your routine has been disrupted, and online college work can be a slog. This might be the perfect opportunity to create a new routine for yourself, and include a mix of enjoyable and productive activities. See if you can introduce these five things into your day to help improve your wellbeing. Not every day is going to be fun, but even the productive activities can give you a sense of achievement.

Shona

Jigsaw clinician

Focus on how to keep well in the moment, while also being patient and kind to yourself.

Focus on the present

Without a doubt this year has been really tough. I can understand why you are worrying about missing out on the best years. Things can seem overwhelming or unmanageable when we look too far ahead. If the pandemic has taught us anything, it is that we cannot control how the future will look. This can feel unsettling for sure. Instead, focus on how to keep well in the moment, while also being patient and kind to yourself.

Take care,

Shona

Jigsaw clinician