Ask Jigsaw: Can’t tell anyone, really unhappy

Wednesday, 22 July 2020

I feel like nothing really makes me properly happy anymore. I’m always tired and I don’t feel enthusiastic about the things I used to. I know I should probably talk to someone or something but I feel like that might turn it into a big deal and that would make me feel worse. I don’t know if it’s just because of exam stress (I’m doing my JC this year) or because I don’t really sleep but I’ve felt like this for quite a long time and I feel like it would make people act awkward around me if I told someone. I hoped it would go away sooner but it hasn’t and I’m not sure what I should do.

-Sleepless

Linda

Jigsaw Clinician

It might surprise you how understanding others can be, if you give them the chance

Hi There,

Thank you for sharing what’s going on for you at the moment. Firstly, difficulties sleeping, exam stress, and feeling low are all really valid reasons to feel the way that you do. As you’ve experienced, sometimes these feelings don’t go away on their own. We need help to make sense of what’s going on for us. Everyone needs support when they are going through a tough time like you are.

Talking to someone

It sounds like you might have come to this realisation already, but are afraid of other people’s reactions if you tell them. It’s normal to be apprehensive, but it might surprise you how understanding others can be if you give them the chance. Is there anyone in your life that you trust enough to open up to? For example, this could be a parent, uncle or aunt. Guidance counsellors or year heads are often helpful in thinking about how to cope with exam stress.

You don’t have to launch straight in to speaking about the tough things. Start to share a little and be as honest as you can be. You can find out more about how to let someone know that you are struggling. If you are worried that the person you speak to will make a big deal of things, let them know this. Tell them that at the moment you would just like them to listen.

Getting further support

Not everyone who experiences challenges with their mental health, needs to access a service for support. You may find that talking to an adult in your life is enough. However, you describe experiencing unhappiness for a “long time” and it seems to be affecting your day to day activities like sleeping. For these reasons, talking a health professional could be helpful. Learn more about your options here. If you are under 18, you will need to talk to a parent first as they have to give permission for you to go to a service.

Whatever you decide, I hope that you take the brave step to reach out and talk to someone.

Take care,

Laura, Jigsaw Clinician