Ask Jigsaw: My partner is depressed

Tuesday, 21 July 2020

Im concerned for my partner he has depression and is depressed now and just wants to be alone due to the lockdown im not with him and its killing us i don’t know how to help him, I ring him often to check up on him and i told him im here for him, i have anxiety myself please give me some advice.

-Bluebells

Hi Bluebells,

It takes a lot of strength to support a loved one when they are going through difficulties. It’s even more challenging at a time like this, when we are forced to be apart and may also be struggling with our own mental health. It sounds like you are doing your best to let your partner know that you are there for them. Covid-19 restrictions make it impossible to support others the way that we might want to. It can be helpful to acknowledge that, and accept that we are doing what we can.

Jennie

Jigsaw Clinician

It’s important to communicate how you’re managing too.

There is no right or wrong way to support someone else. Their needs might change, and our capacity to meet those needs might change too. It can be useful to ask your loved one what kind of support they would like from you. Do they want you to “check in” often, or would they rather be the first to make contact? They are the experts in what support they need.

Quite often, partners do not realise the pressure their loved ones feel under to support them. It’s important to communicate how you’re managing too. It may be the case that your partner could get additional support from a friend or family member, or from a mental health professional.

It makes sense that you are feeling heightened anxiety at this time, and it’s very important that you take care of yourself. As the saying goes, you need to look after yourself to be able to look after others. Check out this article for some ways to manage your mental health during Covid-19.

Take care,

Jennie, Jigsaw Clinician