Ask Jigsaw: No one to talk to

Friday, 17 July 2020

I’m sick of pretending that everything’s ok when I’m hurting so bad and I have no one to talk to I’m just so alone and wish I had someone to turn to what should I do since I have no one to talk to.

– Mary

Hi Mary,

I’m sorry to hear that things are so hard for you right now and you feel so alone. It is great that you want to talk about what is going on, and recognise the importance of this. It is not always easy to know who the best person is to talk to however. While some people might have a really obvious ‘one good adult’ in their life, for some of us it might take a bit more figuring out.

Linda

Jigsaw Clinician

You don’t have to launch straight into the really tough things that you are going through, but building a foundation where you can build up to being open about what you are feeling.

Perhaps think of all the different areas in your life. This could include immediate and wider family, school or college, clubs or societies, friends and their families. Is there anyone that you would feel comfortable starting up a conversation with? You don’t have to launch straight into the really tough things that you are going through, but building a foundation where you can build up to being open about what you are feeling is important.

Making connections

It sounds like you’re in a tough situation at the moment, and maybe the last thing that you are thinking about is making new connections. Meeting new people can be difficult initially, but in time they can grow to be friends that we can trust and rely on. Read about some small steps that you can take to feel more connected here.

You mention pretending things are ok. There is often the temptation when we’re not feeling great to put on a ‘mask’. This can be because we feel ashamed about how we are feeling, or we may want to protect others from how we feel. Whatever the motivation, we know that bottling things up can make it worse. Here are a few things that it might be helpful to try when you are feeling down.

Sometimes, if we can’t find someone close to talk to, or if there are reasons that stop us from talking to those around us, talking to a stranger can help. Listening services such as the Samaritans are available 24/7. It can sometimes help just to say what we are feeling out loud.

It may also be that you need further support to help deal with the hurt that you are experiencing. Check out the options for services if you are over 18 or under 18.

I hope that you find something helpful in this information and wish you the very best in feeling better.

Take Care,

Linda, Jigsaw Clinician