Ask Jigsaw: Struggling to talk to people
Ask Jigsaw: Struggling to talk to people
Friday, 13 November 2020
Hello I am struggling to talk to many people such as aunts and uncles, grandparents, teachers, strangers etc. This causes me a lot of stress and makes me feel bad about myself. It’s very hard for me especially with COVID-19 because I can’t go see a physiologist about it. My mam found this website for me and I think it will really help with this. Thank you.
-Someone
Hi Someone,
Speaking to certain people can be difficult for a number of reasons. It certainly doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you.
Talking to people we might not see often, or a person in authority like a teacher, is different to speaking to someone close. It’s natural to be a little worried that we might say the wrong thing, or not know what to say at all.
Talking to strangers
It can be so easy to chat to close friends, or family. Speaking out, or starting a conversation with other people, might feel a little out of our comfort zone. It might feel like the spotlight is on you and you are being judged for what you say. The reality is that other people are probably more focused on what they are saying, rather than you! Check out this article to learn a little more about feeling anxious in social situations.
It might seem like everyone should be chatty and confident in social situations, but it’s perfectly okay not to be. Recognise if you are placing a lot of pressure on yourself. It could be the case that you are naturally shy. As long as you are able to speak to the people that you really want to, that could be enough.
Developing confidence
If being able to speak up more is something that you want to work on, there are lots of ways that you can do this. The best way to develop confidence in social situations is to practice. Perhaps set yourself a goal to answer one question in class with a teacher that you feel comfortable with. Or plan what you might like to talk to an aunt about, when you next see them. Check out this video for some tips on how to start a conversation with someone new.
Getting support
It sounds like you might be interested in speaking to someone to get some support. There are still lots of options available to you during covid-19. It could be worthwhile to use our jigsaw live chat service to speak with a member of our team about what support might suit you best.
Best wishes,
Linda
Jigsaw clinician
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