Watch: Concerned about being left behind

Watch: Concerned about being left behind

Sunday, 19 July 2020

When a group of friends head off in different directions after finishing school, it is easy to feel concerned about being left behind.

Jigsaw volunteers Sam, Nicola and Rachel, with Youth and Community worker Sinead, talk about how they feel about leaving their school friends as they head off on new adventures.

How to maintain relationships

Jess, Jigsaw volunteer, and Conor, Jigsaw Clinician discuss coping with this and how to maintain relationships going forward.

Jigsaw Clinician
Share that with your friends, let them know that at times it can feel like being left behind.

Friends going in different directions

It can be really hard when friends we spent a lot of time with in school go in different directions. When we do see them, they might be with new friends from their course or college. It may be all they want to talk about is their new life. If this is the case for you it’s not unusual to feel a sense of being left behind. That can be difficult to deal with. Read more about coping with loneliness and isolation here.

It might help to share how you feel with your friends. You could talk about how you might be a bit more purposeful in spending time together.

Jigsaw Clinician
It’s a natural part of our development as we grow up that we move in different directions.

Plan to spend time together

When you were at school you were seeing each other every day of the week. When we go our separate directions, if there are friendships we want to sustain, we might need to drive that. Do this by making clear plans to meet up and a conscious effort to keep in touch and spend time together.

Moving in different directions

Remember though, it is a natural part of growing up to move in different directions. We meet new people and our interests change. Sometimes even our values change and meet different people because of what we believe about the world.

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