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Category: Ask Jigsaw Q&A

Ask Jigsaw: Moody and snappy at home

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

I often become very angry and sad at home, my parents normally give out to me to being moody or snappy but I don’t know why do it. I feel like I am being treated unfairly but when I look back on the situation I don’t know why I got so angry or what the problem was to begin with. Sometimes I blame it on hormones but I don’t know if it is something else instead. I was wondering if there was a way to stop getting angry and have a better relationship with my family?

Hello,

Emotions can be complicated things. Sometimes there is a really obvious reason for why we feel sad or angry. Sometimes it can feel like strong emotions erupt out of nowhere. Often when emotions seem to come from nowhere, it is due to a buildup of lots of small things over time that affect us.

Ask Jigsaw: Obsessed with calorie counting

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

Hey, not sure if this is relevant so please feel free to ignore if there are better questions.

How do you know when you’re ‘bad enough’? I know that everyone says no problem is too small, but I can’t help but feel that if I seek help somewhere that I’d be taking the spot away from someone else who is more in need.

Over the past year, I’ve gotten super obsessed with counting my calories; restricting and then ‘binging’ (not really large amounts of food, just more than I think I should be eating) as a result, occasionally using other methods like appetite suppressants and laxatives to compensate. However, I don’t think that it’s serious as I’m not under weight or over weight yet, so I don’t think I have an eating disorder?
Not sure what I should do, I’d really appreciate an insight, as the new year is making me feel like there’s more I should be doing to be skinnier etc.

Thank you so much x

-Sershxo

Hi Sershxo,

Many people who have come to Jigsaw have worried that their problem isn’t ‘bad enough’ or that others need or deserve the support more. It is very difficult to compare problems, as there are usually so many different factors at play, including the issue or issues, the coping resources someone has, what is going on around them etc. Rather than thinking about other people who may access a service, it is more helpful to think about your own needs.

Ask Jigsaw: Coping with bereavement

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

My grandad recently passed away and i have been dealing with this horribly. Because of Covid-19 and the fact that we live in 2 different countries and that the borders are closed, i wasnt able to attend his funeral nor am i able to see my grandmother.

i dont sleep for 2 nights and then pass out for 15 hours because i cant bear to sleep, i feel as though everything has been dulled down and numb. this is bringing up a lot of sadness that ive been bottling up since 2nd year (im in 5th year now) and ive gotten so unstable.

yesterday my paints got mixed up and im pretty sure i had a mild panic attack. over paint. are there any healthy cpoing mechanisms or maybe a way of closure?

i just miss him, whenever we visited he used to tell us weird little jokes in our native language and take us to the corner store to get us gigantic ice creams in cones. i just miss him and it hurts so much, im too scared to think of him because i hate crying and making people worry about me which then leads to them trying to fix me which never works. i just dont know what to do anymore.

-Brick

Hi there Brick,

I’m sorry that you’re going through such a loss in what’s already a difficult time. Attending the funeral of a loved one can be a very important part of the grieving process. It gives us the chance to share fond memories, and to support one another in our grief. It makes sense that missing your Grandad’s funeral has made it difficult to process his death.

Ask Jigsaw: I can’t seem to feel happy

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

Hi there i suffered a missed miscarraige in 2016. I had a healthy baby girl june 2017. I struggled with stress and anxiety throughout the whole pregnancy.

I’ve tried to get back to feeling like the person i was before all tbese events but i cant. I cant seem to feel happy anymore and if i do i find myself just wondering when it will go wrong again. Im constantly wound up and feel tense even defencive all the time. I feel like sometimes there is a hand on my chest and throat and i cant breath.

Me and my boyfriend are constantly argueing and most of the time its down to me snapping at him or looking for an arguement. I find im always taking everything thats said to me as a smart comment or a personal attack.

 I cant go to my g.p. cause its a man and i dont feel comfortable. Im so fed up of feeling like this and now i think i need some help. Im scared of ruining my relationship and my health. What are my options and do you think i have an issue? Thanks

-Elaine

Hi Elaine,

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been through so much over the past few years. Losing a baby is a terrible experience and people deal with the grief and loss in different ways. It is not unusual to for women to experience worry during their pregnancy, and given the experience that you had, it is not surprising that you struggled with stress and anxiety.

Ask Jigsaw: Autism Spectrum Disorder and anxiety

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

Hi I sufferer from autism spectrum disorder sensory processing disorder and anxiety and appsenst seizures how can you help me with my anxiety

-Hozier cork 2019

Hi Hozier cork 2019 ,

Thanks for your message. It sounds like you are having a tough time at the moment. Anxiety is very common when someone has sensory issues such as those related to autistic spectrum disorder (ASD) and sensory processing disorder (SPD). Some people feel especially anxious if they find themselves in new or unexpected situations or in places where there is too much sensory information, for example, big crowds.  Sometimes with ASD and SPD, it can be extra hard to get used to new things.

Ask Jigsaw: Getting a teenager to do homework

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

How can you try and get your 14 year old teenager to homework and just generally comply and not make life difficult for everyone else during this time.

-Dee

Hi Dee,

This is a really challenging time for all members of the family. Being cooped up in the house together, without the normal routine and our usual social supports is really tough. For parents and young people alike.

Ask Jigsaw: Scared about CAMHS

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

I’m due to see CAMHs (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service) about my anxiety, depression, self-harm and suicide, I’m scared they’ll do things like take me away from my parents, what should I do? How do I go about it?

Hi there,

First of all, well done for taking the steps to get support. CAMHS services around the country do a great job of supporting young people to mind their mental health. This video will tell you a bit more about CAMHS and what it is for.

As you identify, it can sometimes feel scary when you are going somewhere new for the first time. Therefore, this can make it difficult to open up about what you are feeling. However, be assured that everyone at CAMHS will want to support you as best they can.

Ask Jigsaw: My daughter suffers from anxiety

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

My daughter suffers from anxiety, it often stops her from leaving the house and doing activities. She can become severely panicked and stressed if she has to start something new, or just visit a friends house. She loses sleep the night before, cries, hyperventilates and becomes extremely agitated.

For example, she asked to do a summer camp and she looked forward to it for weeks beforehand right up until the night before. Then the panic sat in, she focuses on the worst possibilities of what could happen. This then brings on a panic attack, sometimes we can calm her back down and she manages to go through with the activities but sometimes it overwhelming for her. She panicked so much for the summer camp that she ended up not going as she was too distressed.

I am very worried as she approaches her teenage years that this might only get worse. Do you think that she would benefit from talking to someone such as a counsellor to help with some coping mechanisms? Or what should we do for this?

-Zay

Hi Zay,

It can be really distressing when we see young people experiencing anxiety. Our natural instinct is often to protect them from experiencing it as much as possible. You are right to look at how to address your daughter’s anxiety now to try and prevent it from escalating.

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