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Category: Information and resources

Ask Jigsaw: Friends not social distancing

Posted on by eve

I met up with my friends today and it was a bit underwhelming. It was great to see them but it also made me very nervous. First of all there was 7 of us, but the thing that stressed me out the most was the lack of social distancing. A few of us tried to at the start, but it got so difficult especially when some friends kept trying to get close to me. This really annoyed me and when i confronted them they brushed it off and said ‘a sure we will all get it at some stage’.

I understand that some of them are not in tune with irish news and it could be down to innocent ignorance, but its impossible to convince them to even try. Some people in my family are at risk, so social distancing really matters for me.

At the same time, I get serious Fear Of Missing Out when it comes to passing on hanging out, so I dont know what to do now. Any ideas on what i should do?

Also Id like to say a massive thank you for doing all the work you guys do, it means so much as a young person to have a place like this to fall back on when i need support:)

-Kayla

Hi Kayla,

Firstly, thank you for your kind words about our service. It’s our aim to provide support for young people like you, so it means a lot to hear that you can rely on us. It sounds like you’re in a tricky social situation and I’m sure that many of us will face similar situations, if not now then in the future

Ask Jigsaw: Afraid of gaining weight

Posted on by eve

I’m not able to eat enough food during the day. I have seen things saying that a young person should eat about 2000 calories a day but if I do that, I gain weight and that makes me feel terrible but I want to grow. What should I do? 

– Hello  

Hello,   

There are lots of opinions about how many calories someone should eat. With so much information available, it can be very confusing to figure out how much food is a healthy amount to consume.  

Ask Jigsaw: Feeling trapped with parents arguing

Posted on by eve

Hi,

I was just wondering if you have any advice of how to cope with feeling really trapped as a result of covid?

As usual, my parents are fighting non stop and I would normally just stay outside a lot longer or be with friends to avoid being at home and experiencing it, but now that I’m home all the time, I’ve been having to deal with it a lot more.

This has also often ended up with me getting in the middle of their conflict (often to side my mam) and then ending up arguing with my dad.

I just can’t help but feel hopeless as I wonder when things will be a bit normal, so that I don’t have to be at home all the time/ listen to them argue 24/7.

I can’t really talk to them about its impact on me as neither of them listen to anyone else’s views, apart from their own.

Anyway I don’t know if what I just said even makes sense but I’ve just been feeling really horrible recently and don’t know how to cope with it all, like it’s making me really dislike my parents (which I end up feeling guilty about- but that’s a whole different story).

Thanks 4 reading this and replying, if you do ? x

– Lilah

Hi Lilah,

It makes total sense! Sounds like a lot of the challenges you were managing at home have become amplified due to COVID-19 restrictions. On top of that, some of your usual coping strategies aren’t available to you anymore. It’s important that you remember your parents’ fights are not your fault.

Ask Jigsaw: Family bereavement

Posted on by eve

1. I keep getting so angry and upset for the dumbest reasons (mostly because of disagreements with my mom) what do I do? 

2. My dad died a few years ago and I keep crying because of it and some girls in my class made fun of me because of it and I really miss him but I don’t trust anyone enough to say anything what do I do? 

3. I feel like I hate my mom because we don’t click what do I do? 

– Amy.88345 

Dear Amy.88345 

Sounds like you’re dealing with a whole lot right now. Losing someone close to you is one of the hardest things to experience. Grief and loss can be so challenging to cope with, and it’s not uncommon to feel like our emotions are all over the place. 

The way that we experience grief can come in waves or cycles. There can be points in time where the feelings are intense or painful, and others when we’re feeling okay.  It is ok to cry about what has happened.

Ask Jigsaw: Divorce affecting eating habits

Posted on by eve

My parents told me they were getting a divorce before lockdown, i told only 1 of my friends since quarantine. they have been living in the same house. i feel alone sometimes.

a few days ago my brother found out that my father was with another woman. he blamed me. for the last month i have been exercising and weighing myself everyday ive been counting calories and weighing my food .i dont know how to deal with the divorce but ive began to become obsessed with food and its leaving me tired and hungry.

-Henan

Hi Henan,

I’m sorry that your parents are separating during an already very difficult time. When parents’ divorce, we can feel a number of intense emotions including anger, relief, and sadness. There is certainly no right or wrong way to react.  It sounds like you could be managing this intense situation by trying to control your food intake.

Ask Jigsaw: I want to start loving myself

Posted on by eve

I’ve been told I might be suffering from body dysmorphia and I can see the signs, but despite that I seem to be getting worse? It’s gone to the point where I tear up when I see a recent picture of myself..and I do want to start loving myself but it’s just really hard to. I’ve been thinking of making an appointment, but I’m really scared of face to face interaction. I’m scared of my anxiety since it’s really hard for me to talk to strangers especially when I have to bring up my concerns.. Any recommendations on what I should do? 

– zwolfxo 

Hi zwolfxo, 

Sounds like it’s been really tough for you recently, but you did the right thing to reach out! At different points throughout life, body image can become more, or less important. But there’s no doubt that being unhappy with your physical body can have a big impact on your mental health.  

Ask Jigsaw: Feelings during lockdown

Posted on by eve

I’m feeling very anxious at the moment and I’m finding myself very lonely without the company of my friends, I’m lacking the social interaction I had on a daily basis that distracted me from all my worries and negative thoughts, I can’t seem to find that same distraction that works as good for me at home, I’m just finding myself unmotivated to do anything and generally just very sad.

-Anniemac

Hi Anniemac,

What you describe is a completely understandable reaction to the Covid-19 restrictions. It makes sense that you are feeling anxious because your routine has entirely changed, and there is a lot of uncertainty around. In the same way, it’s understandable that you feel lonely without the company of friends and daily social interaction.

Ask Jigsaw: My partner is depressed

Posted on by eve

Im concerned for my partner he has depression and is depressed now and just wants to be alone due to the lockdown im not with him and its killing us i don’t know how to help him, I ring him often to check up on him and i told him im here for him, i have anxiety myself please give me some advice.

-Bluebells

Hi Bluebells,

It takes a lot of strength to support a loved one when they are going through difficulties. It’s even more challenging at a time like this, when we are forced to be apart and may also be struggling with our own mental health. It sounds like you are doing your best to let your partner know that you are there for them. Covid-19 restrictions make it impossible to support others the way that we might want to. It can be helpful to acknowledge that, and accept that we are doing what we can.

Ask Jigsaw: No longer have a reason to live

Posted on by eve

What should I do if I no longer have any reason to live and the only reason I am still here is for my family’s sake?

Jay

Hi Jay,

I’m sorry to hear that you can’t find many reasons to live. In darker times, it can be difficult to find any reason to live. When we are suffering with great pain, surviving each day can be a tremendous effort. Unfortunately, there are many people who struggle with feelings like yours. Remember that you are not alone. Pieta House offers free counselling, both in person and online, to those who are dealing with thoughts of wanting to die. Their helpline is available 24/7 on 1800247247 or text HELP to 51444.