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Ask Jigsaw: Friend wants to self-harm

My best friend who is 14 wants to harm herself and I’m able to talk her out of it a lot but I’m afraid if someday I’m not there to help or give her the advice she needs or something like that.

I could really use some help here I’ve already recommended this website for her. I really need help with what to do for her because I am worrying a lot because of this. Please contact me for advice I should give to her. Thanks

-Five 

 

How to ask for help

Whether we are feeling run down, experiencing low mood, or are in crisis we all need to reach out for support sometimes. You are not alone.

Recent research conducted by Orgyen and the World Economic Forum highlighted that 87% of the global population is affected by mental health difficulties. This can either be through individuals’ own experience or that of someone close to them.

Watch: Active listening

We’ve all had the experience of trying to say something to someone who is not really listening to us.

Active listening

In this animation we show how we can engage in active listening by showing young people these verbal and non-verbal signs:

Non-verbal

  • Eye contact, nodding and smiling
  • Leaning forward
  • Mirroring body language

Verbal

  • Remembering what is said. A young person will appreciate your full attention and focus.
  • Reflecting back what you’ve heard. This shows the young person that you’ve understood the key points of what they’ve said.
  • Seeking clarification. If a young person has shared something that you don’t understand, ask them to explain what they mean. This is better than pretending you get something, which a young person will pick up on.
  • Summarising. Recap your conversation and any decisions you have reached together to ensure you are both on the same page.

>> Read more about supporting youth mental health 

Ask Jigsaw: Don’t want to go back to counselling

Hey, this isnt even a question but ive been feeling so odd recently and its impacting my behaviour, like my eating habits are all over the place, I’m either crying or really feel like crying every evening and my relationship with my family hasnt been great either.

I tried counselling before and it didn’t really work out for me that well at the time… and when i told the counsellor about my eating habits, they said they think its due to anxiety?? but i don’t know what i’m anxious about??

i acc dunno what to do but I don’t think i want to go back to counselling, as i don’t want to have to deal with emotions or things from my past resurfacing, if that makes any sense? I’m kinda afraid that things are a lot worst than i try to think they are but i’m also aware that fixing that would take ages and i just don’t want to feel worse before i can feel better?

thanks x

xoxo

Hi xoxo,

I can hear a lot of pain and confusion in your message. It sounds like your mental health has been having a negative effect on many aspects of your life, including your relationships.

Ask Jigsaw: Need to talk

Hi! I am a 14 year old student in Ireland. I am feeling a bit lost at the moment… You see I have been to my school counsellor a few times and the last time I went (about 3 months ago) I was really happy that day and I think my school counsellor thinks I’m fine now but to be really honest I’m struggling… Like really struggling but I don’t really want to ask to go see her again because I’m really afraid. I really know though that I need to talk to someone but I don’t want to ask my parents to go to a therapist outside of school because I don’t want to worry them…. If you could give me some guidance or anything really I would be so grateful 

-Quirky23

Hi Quirky23,

First of all, well done for reaching out and talking to your school counsellor in the first place. It takes courage to seek help, particularly if you are feeling lost.

Mental health services for over 18s

If you’re feeling down or anxious, or just generally not in a good place, there are many mental health services and supports that can help you.

What mental health services are there if I’m over 18?

Once you’re 18, you don’t need the consent of a parent or guardian to contact any services. But you can ask for support from them if you think it would help.

Below we’ve made a list of the mental health services for young people who are 18 or older. Whichever service you go to can depend on factors like what’s available in your area and what difficulties you’re having. If you talk to a health professional they should guide you on that.

Ask Jigsaw: Do you help teens in the LGBT community?

Do u help teens in the lgbt community?

-Anonymous 17

Hello Anonymous 17,

Jigsaw supports young people from all communities, including those in the LGBT community. Some young people come to Jigsaw because they want to explore issues to do with their sexuality or gender. Other young people from the LGBT community want to come to Jigsaw for support that has nothing to do with this.

You can read more about accessing Jigsaw Services here.

Thanks for your question.

Justin, Jigsaw Clinician

Ask Jigsaw: Afraid of gaining weight

I’m not able to eat enough food during the day. I have seen things saying that a young person should eat about 2000 calories a day but if I do that, I gain weight and that makes me feel terrible but I want to grow. What should I do? 

– Hello  

Hello,   

There are lots of opinions about how many calories someone should eat. With so much information available, it can be very confusing to figure out how much food is a healthy amount to consume.  

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