Although Jess, Jigsaw Volunteer, never experienced social anxiety, she felt her confidence took a knock when she started college.
Watch as she asks Conor for advice on feeling lonely in college. They also deal with the thought that no one wants to talk to you.
Watch as our Jigsaw Volunteers Sam and Rachel discuss the shift in taking personal responsibility when you move away to college.
Time spent online and social media are commonly viewed as the root causes of any problem that young people face.
For a lot of us, work and education is tied into a stable internet connection. Digital communication is more important than ever.
When we ask young people how long they spend online, they often refer to this amount as bad or negative. We’re all guilty of mindless scrolling at times, but does that make it bad?
In this article, you will find:
We face many changes throughout our lives.
We might be finishing primary or secondary school, starting college, or getting a new job. Some of us decide to leave home or even move to a new country.
Change can occur within our families, such as separation, divorce, or the death of a family member. The world itself goes through many changes too. The political, environmental, and social environments are always in flux.
It can also be exciting, daunting, or exhausting. No matter what we feel about it, change is inevitable and can’t be avoided. When we’re finding it difficult, often the problem isn’t the change itself, but how we deal with it.
When a group of friends head off in different directions after finishing school, it is easy to feel concerned about being left behind.
Jigsaw volunteers Sam, Nicola and Rachel, with Youth and Community worker Sinead, talk about how they feel about leaving their school friends as they head off on new adventures.
After not clicking with people in first year, Jess, Jigsaw Volunteer talks to Conor, Jigsaw Clinician about heading back to college and being worried about making friends all over again.
Conor explains that when we have had bad experiences with friendships, picking ourselves back up it can be challenging. We might be feeling rejected, or a bit hopeless about meeting new people.
Eimear, Jigsaw volunteer, asks for advice about how to start a conversation in a new situation, for example when starting a new course.
Jigsaw works with many young people who go to a class, society meetings or football training and still feel lonely. This is because they find it really hard to talk to someone. So they’re going, but not connecting. That can be really hard and there’s not a simple fix.
When we’ve gone through difficult experiences like being bullied, or have had negative relationships, we can start to believe unhelpful things. We can start to believe “no one would want to speak to me” or “I’m not good enough for people to talk to”.
Having a routine is good for our wellbeing. It creates structure in our week and gives us a sense of purpose. Routine also makes it easier to do the things that are important to us.
With schools and colleges closed, work situations changing, and physical distancing, many people are struggling with daily life feeling quite different.
We can use routine as a way to support our mental health at this time.
We live in a competitive world, where comparison is everywhere. It’s often present in school or college, on the sports field or in relation to social status.
There can be a focus on ‘being the best’ when we are ranked and compared to those around us.
At school or in college there is often competition, with exams designed to assess our academic ability. Ratings can be compared to every other person our age in Ireland.
Sports can come with pressure and a focus on winning. Even in non-competitive activities, such as the gym, we are encouraged to try to get a ‘personal best’. We might focus on doing more weights or improving our time, in competition with ourselves to be our best.
Online and on social media, we can usually see how many followers/friends, likes, or comments another person receives. We often compare our social media stats to those of others. Looking at posts and wondering why some got more support than others can become a habit. What stories are we telling ourselves about success and failure?
Being single doesn’t seem like something to celebrate. Relationships are the focus of a lot of the popular culture we consume.
It can also take a period of adjustment if we recently find ourselves single, through a break-up, or ending a relationship.
Our Instagram feeds are filled with snaps of ‘happy couples’ and #relationshipgoals. There’s a mountain of advice on how not to be single. So, you’d be forgiven for thinking everyone in the world is in a relationship except you.
However, that’s not the case. According to the most recent Irish Census, 41% of people over 15 years-old are single. Yet still, we can feel the pressure to ‘couple up’ and this can be challenging.
