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Brings categories: a young person

Adjusting to lockdown

Posted on by eve

Keith, 24, a Jigsaw volunteer gives his story: I am on lockdown with my parents. Unfortunately, there are no pets, except those on animal crossing.

It was hard at first, as my daily routine has completely changed, along with just having to adjust to the current circumstances.

However, over the weeks we’ve been in lockdown, several things that have popped up, which I have definitely incorporated into my new daily routine. One of which is the time I’m spending by myself. I’m learning a lot about myself and what my resilience levels are like at the moment which is actually quite liberating. Another great thing that has come from this is the amount of time I’m spending with my family nowadays.

Coronavirus and mental health

Posted on by eve

During this global pandemic the recommendation is social distancing and staying safe. There is also a lot of focus on mental health.

Looking after your mental health is always important. But with Coronavirus spreading, we now face more and different challenges to our wellbeing.

Some of the stressors that we now face include:

  • Uncertainty about the future
  • Loss of routine
  • Fear of catching Coronavirus
  • Isolation from social distancing
  • Losing loved ones
  • Spread of misinformation
  • Worry about the actions of others
  • Boredom.

It’s unrealistic to think that the current situation won’t affect most of us in some way. We might be experiencing feelings of stress right now, or feel slightly numb or immune to it. However, the more we pay attention to our emotional and psychological needs the easier it will be to get through this turbulent time.

Keep what works

Minding our mental health does not mean we do lots of new stuff. We need to change the things that have worked previously to our new situation. Think about what helped your mental health before. Find ways to incorporate them into your new regime. Watch 5-a-day for mental health here.

Strategies for managing mental health can be adapted for now. Read more about:

Coming out about your sexuality

Posted on by eve

Whether it’s your first time coming out, or your hundredth, it can be both a daunting and liberating time.

Coming out begins with coming out to ourselves. We need to allow time to explore and discover who we are physically, romantically and sexually attracted to. Here are some tips that can be helpful to remember.

Ask Jigsaw: Never had a close relationship

Posted on by eve

Hi

I’m 24 and my main problem is I’m very aware of the fact that I have never been in a close relationship with a girl in my life and I feel like I’m a real outlier in this regard. I’m very worried that I will never find someone and will always be alone. I became close to a few girls in college but they all rejected me just when I felt like things may be getting serious.

I still have strong feelings for one particular girl but am resigned to the fact that this will always be unrequited. I question myself daily as to why I was not good enough for this girl and this had led to me feeling very low at times. This has been going on for a number of years and I feel like my self-esteem has really taken a battering as a result.

During this time I have watched as nearly all the members of my close friend group have managed to find themselves in long-term relationships. I find it very hard to forgive myself for messing up my chances at relationships during college. I wonder a lot about “what might have been”. Would appreciate any words you would have to say about all this. Thank you.

–1995

Hi there 1995,

It makes sense that you feel you’re missing out by not having close relationships in the past. Through social media, tv and films we often get the message that in order to feel fulfilled and happy, we need to be in a romantic relationship. This is certainly not true.

Connections with friends, family, even pets and nature can be just as (and sometimes more!) fulfilling. You can read more about being single and feeling happy here.

Ask Jigsaw: Hurt by brother’s rejection

Posted on by eve

I drunkenly told my brother I wanted to die and he responded with that I was an attention seeker and I would’ve just done it already if I wanted to. He expressed to my parents that he thinks they need to sort me out and I have no respect for anyone, as well as being an attention seeker.

I’ve tried to contact him to discuss our issues but he just insists everything is fine and superficial chit chat ensues. It hurts my parents to see us like this and I’m finding it hard not to lash out at the feelings of rejection I’ve felt since. I get upset and angry a lot because I feel extremely lonely a lot of the time.

I think my main fear is making any sort of mistake again and having everyone leave, this has really affected my trust and self worth. I think I tend to not Process things and bury them. Then this eventually erupts after a night of drinking and has awful effects. I guess I don’t know how to fix myself.

-Smcl96 *Please note this question has been edited in length from the original submission

Hi there Smcl96,

It sounds like you’ve been dealing with a lot, before and after the fallout, and that you haven’t got the support that you need and deserve. It takes a lot of courage to be honest about our mental health. When we do take that brave step, it can be devastating to be turned away. Your pain and feelings of rejection make sense.