Leona, Jigsaw clinician, walks through a grounding tool called “ACE” to assist in stressful situations.
We developed an animation to illustrate.
‘A’ refers to accept how you are feeling
‘C’ refers to come back into your body
‘E’ refers to engage fully with what you are doing.
How do I stop caring what other people think if it’s taking over my life and ruining things for me
-Ktxxxx
Hi Ktxxxx,
Most of us are concerned about what other people think of us to some extent or another at different times in our life. We want to feel accepted and that we belong and are liked for who we are.
Do you think if i killed myself people would remember me because i feel like I’m not the kinda person to be dwelled, School is getting harder and harder and sometimes it feels like i cant breathe with the persure being put on me, Sorry for bothering you with my problems feel free to ignore x
-Emma
Hi Emma,
Thank you for getting in touch and talking about these difficult feelings. It sounds like things are really tough for you at the moment.
I would urge you to get support, and there are a number of options. First of all, think if there is an adult in your life who you could talk to about these feelings. It could be a family member, teacher or any one you trust. If it’s hard to say things out loud, you could show them this message and let them know that it is you.
How do I accept to love myself when I hate everything about me and want to change everything about me and feel I ruin everything I just want to be normal. Anon1.
Hi Anon1,
I’m sorry to hear that nothing feels right for you at the moment. Sometimes, it can feel like everyone else is doing well, and we are the only one struggling.
Because of exams i get stressed and because i cant exactly control what marks i get i sometimes turn to food as a thing i can control. everytime i eat something i think is this going to make me fatter or i should run to burn off what ive eaten or i dont need to eat this today. ive never properly restricted myself or looked properly at a scales everyday because im scared that i would get too obsessed so its just a battle everyday to eat and not think about what its doing to me. sorry this probably isnt a big deal but i just thought id say it x
-Louise
Hi Louise,
Many of us want to feel that we have a sense of control in our lives. Hence, when important things in our life can be affected by the actions of other people or events it can create feelings of anxiety, worry and stress. It sounds like in order to cope with the stress, you have started to focus on food and eating habits. I can hear in your question that you are worried about this, and probably recognise that this focus is not healthy.
I am such a disappointment to my parents, they are both really sporty and fit and while that’s great i don’t like sport at all and i don’t like the same things as them. They never want to do the things that i like, watching a movie, baking hanging out.
I know my mam thinks i am too fat, she is always asking me have i done my exercise today and i feel embarrassed.
I know my parents love me but i am not who they want me to be and am beginning to feel like i don’t belong and i am just not good enough for them.
-James
Hi James,
It sounds like your relationship with your parents feels quite challenging at the moment. Parents usually have a big influence on our lives growing up, but it is not unusual that as we get older we develop our own interests and tastes. This can sometimes be hard for parents to understand. It can lead to us feeling upset and misunderstood. It is great that you are trying to find some common ground with your parents, even though you have different interests. Perhaps you could explain to them that you would really like to spend time with them, and discuss whether there is a way to compromise, either finding something you all enjoy doing, or taking turns to choose an activity.
Do you have advice for a young adult struggling with anxiety? I’ve recently been falling into fits of anxiety several times a day that have had a huge impact on my health. It had started out small with being anxious about being in a new town/home. The anxiety only grew with each passing day; they went from quick spells to hours of feeling tense and scared.
Now every noise or small bump sends my heart racing when im feeling anxious. Its gotten to the point where I pace around the house making sure that the noise I heard was nothing dangerous. I also feel as tho the anxiety has been severely damaging my eating habits and health. When I’m anxious I cant bring myself to eat because my stomach becomes severely upset. When its bad I cant even keep water or crackers in my stomach. Iv tried every remedy for an upset stomach; tums, crackers, club soda, ginger but nothing seems to work when my anxiety spikes. I’ve been coping with this for months, being sick and throwing up at least once a week.
I’ve been to a doctor about it fearing it to be something more, however ive been told by multiple doctors that the effects I’m experiencing are caused by stress (nothing they can do for that). Im not sure how much longer I can handle everything my anxiety and stress is doing to me. If there is any advice you can spare, I need to hear it. Thanks
-C
Hi C,
It sounds like your anxiety and stress are causing significant difficulties for you. There are many physical impacts of anxiety, and some people do experience stomach pain and upset. The physical signs of anxiety are usually really uncomfortable and upsetting, and it can be easy to focus on managing these and trying to reduce the discomfort. While this can provide some relief in the short term, it doesn’t address the underlying things that are contributing to the anxiety and stress.
Eva talks about what led her to contact Jigsaw and what the experience of getting one-on-one support from a Jigsaw Clinician was like for her.
I was going through bit of a rough time. I was thinking that I was going to have to talk to someone about all of the things that were happening for me. So I googled Jigsaw and looked at the website and read the stories as well. I did wonder, is this really going to help me? Is this genuine? I just wasn’t sure what the service is about.
One day my rough times escalated … It was the month before my exams. I was in the library and I was so down that couldn’t focus at all. I was thinking, if this is going to continue, I will mess up my exams. I was constantly thinking about my worries and it wasn’t doing me any good. That’s why I decided to make a move and talk to someone.
how can i know now, being unable to seek advice from my GP or any professionals due to the coronavirus outbreak, whats wrong with me?
last week it was like my mind was running at ten thousand miles per hour with no way of controling it. my thoughts would be going so fast at any given time that if i didnt write them down as soon as i have them id have forgetten them.
but now its like nothing. its like theres only ever one thing on my mind on repeat over and over again. its the feeling of emptiness and nothingness, the feeling that makes me think: this isnt living, i might as well be dead.
of course i thought the fact of self isolation and social distancing is probably the cause of this feeling but this is not the first time ive felt this way its just up until now ive been able to distract myself by the people i care about and their problems.
but now as a 15 old alone in my own head with my own thoughts ive been forced to confront these feelings and emotions and have come to the conclusion that this cannot be normal otherwise how have so many people NOT committed suicide you know?
-idek anymore *Please note this question has been edited in length from the original submission
Hello idek anymore,
It sounds like you have been on a bit of a roller coaster recently, from thoughts racing to feeling numb. The fact that we don’t have access to all of the same supports and distractions as usual can certainly amplify the feelings and concerns that were already there.
