Jigsaw Connect: Self-care for teachers
We recently ran two webinar for teachers, who have taken our online courses. The focus was how post-primary and primary school teachers can support their own mental health.
Category: Asking for help
Ask Jigsaw: How do you recognise emotional abuse?
How can you tell when your being emotionally abused?
– Idkhelpmepls:)
Hi Idkhelpmepls:),
Recognising emotional abuse can be complicated. It can have lots of different names, like verbal or mental abuse, and it might have different meanings for different people. It’s really important to explore if we are being abused by someone so that we can protect ourselves, and get the necessary support.
Emotional abuse is systematic emotional or psychological ill-treatment by someone in our lives. It can be perpetrated by a parent, partner, carer or someone else that we have a relationship with. It can include manipulation, humiliation, aggression and intimidation that occurs over a period of time. We might notice warning signs in a relationship that could indicate it is becoming abusive.
Ask Jigsaw: No one to talk to
I’m sick of pretending that everything’s ok when I’m hurting so bad and I have no one to talk to I’m just so alone and wish I had someone to turn to what should I do since I have no one to talk to.
– Mary
Hi Mary,
I’m sorry to hear that things are so hard for you right now and you feel so alone. It is great that you want to talk about what is going on, and recognise the importance of this. It is not always easy to know who the best person is to talk to however. While some people might have a really obvious ‘one good adult’ in their life, for some of us it might take a bit more figuring out.
Supporting young people’s mental health during the pandemic
Through Jigsaw’s work with young people, we are continuously reminded of the challenges parents face, and their desire to help.
It is no easy feat being a parent. The biggest issues right now are dealing with the threat of lockdown, ongoing restrictions, and the uncertainty they all bring.
The pandemic has brought uncertainty and a rapid change to our lifestyle. It has increased the potential for anxiety and frustration, not only for young people, but also for parents.
Ask Jigsaw: Scared of being hurt again
I’ve never gotten along with my dad and he’s really hurt me in the past. Then he moved and now he’s calling me and being nice but he never apologised. I’m scared he’ll hurt me again and I want to forgive him I just don’t know how. What do you think I should do? Sorry to bother you with this i know it’s a hard time for everyone right now.
Anna
Hi Anna,
I’m glad that you got in touch because you deserve to be supported in this situation. Conflict with our parents can really affect us. From a young age, we learn to do what our parents tell us and we can feel a responsibility to do what they say. It’s understandable that you feel uncertain.
It’s our parents’ role to protect us from harm and to treat us with warmth and love. It is wrong, and in some cases illegal, for our parents to hurt us. It sounds like you’ve been hurt in the past. Whether that was physical or emotional, you are right to make sure you are protected from it happening again.
Ask Jigsaw: Don’t want to stress parents
I feel like if I talk about my problems right now it’ll stress my parents out, and that maybe I’m just over reacting. What should I do?
-Xeron
Hi Xeron,
It’s not unusual to feel apprehensive about speaking to family about the difficulties we’re facing. There are lots of reasons why we might retreat inwards and hold all our feelings to ourselves. We can feel like we are protecting ourselves from the judgement of others. Maybe we feel guilty about causing worry, or we want to be able to handle it alone. It takes courage to recognise that we all need support sometimes and we can’t face all our challenges alone.
Ask Jigsaw: I need to talk
I just want someone to talk to, my mam is an alcoholic, she’s been to rehab and has now relapsed
-Josie
Hi Josie,
Thank you for reaching out. It is really tough when there is someone close to you who is struggling with addiction and so important to have someone to talk to about this. Here is some information about the impact of parents’ mental health which might help in knowing that you are not alone.
Ask Jigsaw: Fear of failure
Do you have any info as to where a 25 year old male could get advice about finding a job? His anxiety and depression means he has never succesfully held down a job.
Fear of failure stops him from giving anything a fair go but not having a job adds to his sense of worthlessness. He says he would like to find a foolproof job that he couldnt make a mistake at. He is in cork area.
-Alfie
Hi Alfie,
It sounds like your friend is stuck in a bit of a negative cycle. He doesn’t believe he can be successful in a job. This worry or fear then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Ask Jigsaw: My father doesn’t want me to get counselling
I have been dealing with a few things and considered receiving help for them by the means of therapy or counselling, but when I brought it up to my father, I didn’t get the response I wanted and he questioned why I’d rather bring up my problems with a stranger rather than him.
am I selfish for not getting the response I want, and how should I reason with him, if I should at all? I feel as if Jigsaw could help a lot, but I don’t know how to explain it to him. I feel horrible about asking behind his back, but I feel as if it’s the only thing I can do. Feel free to ignore this, it’s not that important compared to anything else you receive.
And thank you for doing your job, in advance. For any Clinician who hopefully sees this, you save lives and mean a lot. It’s not much coming from someone with a letter for their username and words on a screen for their thoughts, but I hope it means something.
-J
Hi J,
Thank you for getting in touch, and for your lovely comments. It was brave of you to bring up how you have been feeling with your father and ask for help. I’m sorry you didn’t get the response you were hoping for.
Ask Jigsaw: What is counselling?
What is counselling?
– Jojo
Hi Jojo,
We hear the term ‘counselling’ used a lot, and in reality it can mean different things to different people. The Cambridge Dictionary defines counselling as ‘the job or process of listening to someone and giving them advice about their problems’. Probably most of us do this with our friends, although we would not necessarily say we are counsellors.