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Ask Jigsaw: I can’t seem to feel happy

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

Hi there i suffered a missed miscarraige in 2016. I had a healthy baby girl june 2017. I struggled with stress and anxiety throughout the whole pregnancy.

I’ve tried to get back to feeling like the person i was before all tbese events but i cant. I cant seem to feel happy anymore and if i do i find myself just wondering when it will go wrong again. Im constantly wound up and feel tense even defencive all the time. I feel like sometimes there is a hand on my chest and throat and i cant breath.

Me and my boyfriend are constantly argueing and most of the time its down to me snapping at him or looking for an arguement. I find im always taking everything thats said to me as a smart comment or a personal attack.

 I cant go to my g.p. cause its a man and i dont feel comfortable. Im so fed up of feeling like this and now i think i need some help. Im scared of ruining my relationship and my health. What are my options and do you think i have an issue? Thanks

-Elaine

Hi Elaine,

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been through so much over the past few years. Losing a baby is a terrible experience and people deal with the grief and loss in different ways. It is not unusual to for women to experience worry during their pregnancy, and given the experience that you had, it is not surprising that you struggled with stress and anxiety.

What are the mental health services for under-18s?

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

If you’re under 18 and having a difficult time, there are a few options to consider.

First, is there someone you can talk to about what’s going on? A member of your family or friend that you trust can be a good place to start. Or take a look at the articles here to help you figure out what you need. Sometimes this could be enough or can help you make sense of what you need and what you can do.

If you think you might need to get some support or advice from a professional, we’ve made a list of the mental health services available for young people under 18.

Which one is best for you depends on what you’re going through. Sometimes that initial conversation with a trusted adult helps identify what will help. Also, because of the law on consent, you will need to have a parent/guardian involved to get help from a lot of services and professionals.

So, the best first step is usually telling someone what’s going on for you. If you have a good enough relationship with a parent or guardian this can be a good place to start. If not, think about another adult you trust that you could talk to, like an aunt/uncle, older sibling or family friend.

In this article, you will find:

Webinar: Supporting young people to stay positive

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

We ran a webinar for parents on Monday, 27 April where two Jigsaw clinicians gave a presentation on supporting young people to stay positive and motivated. They then took questions from parents about what was going on for them.

The lockdown has gone on longer than any of us could have foreseen at the beginning and is now what people are calling the ‘new normal’. However, it can still feel far from normal particularly with things like school, college and work suspended, uncertain or over in some cases.

Keeping yourself and the young people in your life positive and motivated right now can take a bit of of extra work. Hopefully, this webinar covers useful tips for you to try at this time.

Webinar: Supporting your own mental health in lockdown

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

We ran a webinar for parents where two Jigsaw clinicians gave a presentation about supporting your mental health while social distancing. They then took questions from parents about what was going on for them.

The new measures can still throw up a lot of uncertainty and disappointment about plans that either have to postponed, or canceled. Keeping yourself and the young people in your life positive and motivated right now can take a bit of of extra work. Hopefully, this webinar covers useful tips for you to try at this time.

Being the best

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

We live in a competitive world, where comparison is everywhere. It’s often present in school or college, on the sports field or in relation to social status.

There can be a focus on ‘being the best’ when we are ranked and compared to those around us.

At school or in college there is often competition, with exams designed to assess our academic ability. Ratings can be compared to every other person our age in Ireland.

Sports can come with pressure and a focus on winning. Even in non-competitive activities, such as the gym, we are encouraged to try to get a ‘personal best’. We might focus on doing more weights or improving our time, in competition with ourselves to be our best.

Online and on social media, we can usually see how many followers/friends, likes, or comments another person receives. We often compare our social media stats to those of others. Looking at posts and wondering why some got more support than others can become a habit. What stories are we telling ourselves about success and failure?

Feeling happy being single

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

Being single doesn’t seem like something to celebrate. Relationships are the focus of a lot of the popular culture we consume. 

It can also take a period of adjustment if we recently find ourselves single, through a break-up, or ending a relationship.

Our Instagram feeds are filled with snaps of ‘happy couples’ and #relationshipgoals. There’s a mountain of advice on how not to be single. So, you’d be forgiven for thinking everyone in the world is in a relationship except you.

However, that’s not the case. According to the most recent Irish Census, 41% of people over 15 years-old are single. Yet still, we can feel the pressure to ‘couple up’ and this can be challenging.

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