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Ask Jigsaw: Obsessed with calorie counting

Hey, not sure if this is relevant so please feel free to ignore if there are better questions.

How do you know when you’re ‘bad enough’? I know that everyone says no problem is too small, but I can’t help but feel that if I seek help somewhere that I’d be taking the spot away from someone else who is more in need.

Over the past year, I’ve gotten super obsessed with counting my calories; restricting and then ‘binging’ (not really large amounts of food, just more than I think I should be eating) as a result, occasionally using other methods like appetite suppressants and laxatives to compensate. However, I don’t think that it’s serious as I’m not under weight or over weight yet, so I don’t think I have an eating disorder?
Not sure what I should do, I’d really appreciate an insight, as the new year is making me feel like there’s more I should be doing to be skinnier etc.

Thank you so much x

-Sershxo

Hi Sershxo,

Many people who have come to Jigsaw have worried that their problem isn’t ‘bad enough’ or that others need or deserve the support more. It is very difficult to compare problems, as there are usually so many different factors at play, including the issue or issues, the coping resources someone has, what is going on around them etc. Rather than thinking about other people who may access a service, it is more helpful to think about your own needs.

Ending a relationship

Breaking up with someone is never easy. Making a decision to move on is sad even if it’s something you both want.

If one of you wants to break up and the other doesn’t, it gets even more complicated.

However, if your relationship is abusive, emotionally or physically, you should end it. No matter how much you care about each other, ending an abusive relationship is always the right thing to do.

It doesn’t matter how long it lasted, or how serious the relationship was. It’s about what it meant to you. How you felt about that person and how the relationship actually ended will all impact how you react to it.

There is no right or wrong way to feel. Every relationship is different. Acknowledge and allow yourself to feel whatever is going on for you.

Ask Jigsaw: Coping with bereavement

My grandad recently passed away and i have been dealing with this horribly. Because of Covid-19 and the fact that we live in 2 different countries and that the borders are closed, i wasnt able to attend his funeral nor am i able to see my grandmother.

i dont sleep for 2 nights and then pass out for 15 hours because i cant bear to sleep, i feel as though everything has been dulled down and numb. this is bringing up a lot of sadness that ive been bottling up since 2nd year (im in 5th year now) and ive gotten so unstable.

yesterday my paints got mixed up and im pretty sure i had a mild panic attack. over paint. are there any healthy cpoing mechanisms or maybe a way of closure?

i just miss him, whenever we visited he used to tell us weird little jokes in our native language and take us to the corner store to get us gigantic ice creams in cones. i just miss him and it hurts so much, im too scared to think of him because i hate crying and making people worry about me which then leads to them trying to fix me which never works. i just dont know what to do anymore.

-Brick

Hi there Brick,

I’m sorry that you’re going through such a loss in what’s already a difficult time. Attending the funeral of a loved one can be a very important part of the grieving process. It gives us the chance to share fond memories, and to support one another in our grief. It makes sense that missing your Grandad’s funeral has made it difficult to process his death.

Managing routines while working from home

Having a routine is good for our wellbeing. It creates structure in our week and gives us a sense of purpose. Routine also makes it easier to do the things that are important to us.

With schools and colleges closed, work situations changing, and physical distancing, many people are struggling with daily life feeling quite different.

We can use routine as a way to support our mental health at this time.

Ramadan during lockdown

Karima, a Jigsaw volunteer gives her story

Friday, 24 April was the first day of Ramadan for me and many other Muslims around the world.

This Ramadan will be different to the many others I’ve experienced, due to the current lockdown situation.

Throughout the month of Ramadan, most Muslims won’t eat or drink between dawn and sunset. This is known as fasting and it is one of the Five Pillars of Islam; alongside Faith, prayer, charity and doing Hajj (a journey to the city of Mecca). Ramadan is the ninth month of the Islamic calendar. As we use the lunar calendar, its date changes on a yearly basis that is based on the different moon cycles.

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