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Category: Asking for help

Ask Jigsaw: Don’t want to stress parents

Posted on by eve

I feel like if I talk about my problems right now it’ll stress my parents out, and that maybe I’m just over reacting. What should I do?

-Xeron

Hi Xeron,

It’s not unusual to feel apprehensive about speaking to family about the difficulties we’re facing. There are lots of reasons why we might retreat inwards and hold all our feelings to ourselves. We can feel like we are protecting ourselves from the judgement of others. Maybe we feel guilty about causing worry, or we want to be able to handle it alone. It takes courage to recognise that we all need support sometimes and we can’t face all our challenges alone.

Ask Jigsaw: I need to talk

Posted on by eve

I just want someone to talk to, my mam is an alcoholic, she’s been to rehab and has now relapsed
-Josie

Hi Josie,
Thank you for reaching out. It is really tough when there is someone close to you who is struggling with addiction and so important to have someone to talk to about this. Here is some information about the impact of parents’ mental health which might help in knowing that you are not alone.

Ask Jigsaw: Fear of failure

Posted on by eve

Do you have any info as to where a 25 year old male could get advice about finding a job? His anxiety and depression means he has never succesfully held down a job.

Fear of failure stops him from giving anything a fair go but not having a job adds to his sense of worthlessness. He says he would like to find a foolproof job that he couldnt make a mistake at. He is in cork area.

-Alfie

Hi Alfie,

It sounds like your friend is stuck in a bit of a negative cycle. He doesn’t believe he can be successful in a job. This worry or fear then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Ask Jigsaw: My father doesn’t want me to get counselling

Posted on by eve

I have been dealing with a few things and considered receiving help for them by the means of therapy or counselling, but when I brought it up to my father, I didn’t get the response I wanted and he questioned why I’d rather bring up my problems with a stranger rather than him.

am I selfish for not getting the response I want, and how should I reason with him, if I should at all? I feel as if Jigsaw could help a lot, but I don’t know how to explain it to him. I feel horrible about asking behind his back, but I feel as if it’s the only thing I can do. Feel free to ignore this, it’s not that important compared to anything else you receive.

And thank you for doing your job, in advance. For any Clinician who hopefully sees this, you save lives and mean a lot. It’s not much coming from someone with a letter for their username and words on a screen for their thoughts, but I hope it means something.

-J

Hi J,

Thank you for getting in touch, and for your lovely comments. It was brave of you to bring up how you have been feeling with your father and ask for help. I’m sorry you didn’t get the response you were hoping for.

Ask Jigsaw: What is counselling?

Posted on by eve

What is counselling?

– Jojo

Hi Jojo,

We hear the term ‘counselling’ used a lot, and in reality it can mean different things to different people. The Cambridge Dictionary defines counselling as ‘the job or process of listening to someone and giving them advice about their problems’.  Probably most of us do this with our friends, although we would not necessarily say we are counsellors.

Ask Jigsaw: I want to talk to a professional

Posted on by eve

I have a suspicion that I have a serious mental health problem and I really want to talk to a professional but I don’t want my parents or anyone else to know, what should I do?

Hi there,

It sounds like you might have noticed a change in your mental health, which has led you to believe that you have a serious problem. Many people think that having good mental health is about having no problems at all.

Actually, our mental health changes all the time, depending on what happens to us, and how we feel about ourselves. It’s really important to notice a change, as you have, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have a serious mental health problem.

Ask Jigsaw: Anxiety has been affecting my eating habits

Posted on by eve

Do you have advice for a young adult struggling with anxiety? I’ve recently been falling into fits of anxiety several times a day that have had a huge impact on my health. It had started out small with being anxious about being in a new town/home. The anxiety only grew with each passing day; they went from quick spells to hours of feeling tense and scared.

Now every noise or small bump sends my heart racing when im feeling anxious. Its gotten to the point where I pace around the house making sure that the noise I heard was nothing dangerous. I also feel as tho the anxiety has been severely damaging my eating habits and health. When I’m anxious I cant bring myself to eat because my stomach becomes severely upset. When its bad I cant even keep water or crackers in my stomach. Iv tried every remedy for an upset stomach; tums, crackers, club soda, ginger but nothing seems to work when my anxiety spikes. I’ve been coping with this for months, being sick and throwing up at least once a week.

I’ve been to a doctor about it fearing it to be something more, however ive been told by multiple doctors that the effects I’m experiencing are caused by stress (nothing they can do for that). Im not sure how much longer I can handle everything my anxiety and stress is doing to me. If there is any advice you can spare, I need to hear it. Thanks

-C

Hi C,

It sounds like your anxiety and stress are causing significant difficulties for you. There are many physical impacts of anxiety, and some people do experience stomach pain and upset.  The physical signs of anxiety are usually really uncomfortable and upsetting, and it can be easy to focus on managing these and trying to reduce the discomfort. While this can provide some relief in the short term, it doesn’t address the underlying things that are contributing to the anxiety and stress.

Eva’s story: How Jigsaw services helped

Posted on by eve

Eva talks about what led her to contact Jigsaw and what the experience of getting one-on-one support from a Jigsaw Clinician was like for her.

Eva’s story

I was going through bit of a rough time. I was thinking that I was going to have to talk to someone about all of the things that were happening for me. So I googled Jigsaw and looked at the website and read the stories as well. I did wonder, is this really going to help me? Is this genuine? I just wasn’t sure what the service is about.

One day my rough times escalated … It was the month before my exams. I was in the library and I was so down that couldn’t focus at all. I was thinking, if this is going to continue, I will mess up my exams. I was constantly thinking about my worries and it wasn’t doing me any good. That’s why I decided to make a move and talk to someone.

My One Good Adult

Posted on by eve

In Jigsaw and UCD’s My World Survey in 2012, young people were asked if there was a special adult in their lives they could turn to when they were in need.

71% of young people had at least one adult they could talk to when they needed support. Here we asked Jigsaw Youth Advisory Panel volunteers who their One Good Adult was. Who is your one good adult?