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Ask Jigsaw: Gap year decision

I decided to take a gap year from starting college because of Covid causing everything to be online. I just feel like a coward who ran away as soon as the going got tough. But I just wanted to connect with people and be in the atmosphere of it all.

I’ve always felt trapped within myself, like I’m the audience watching characters in a scene and I can’t break that barrier. Doing College online only amplified this feelings as I was literally watching a screen.

I’m just afraid I made this choice out of fear. I was doing the course out of fear of not doing it and now I’m not doing the course out of fear of doing it. My family supported my decision and I felt brave for telling them how I felt but a part of me still feels like a coward and a failure and I’m afraid I’m going to waste this year and I’ll regret this decision in the future.

-Cole

Hi Cole,

There are many reasons for delaying the start of your studies or training after school. Making a decision to wait until you can fully engage in the college experience is brave. It sounds like it was one that you and your family put some thought into, so trust yourself.

How to ask for help

Whether we are feeling run down, experiencing low mood, or are in crisis we all need to reach out for support sometimes. You are not alone.

Recent research conducted by Orgyen and the World Economic Forum highlighted that 87% of the global population is affected by mental health difficulties. This can either be through individuals’ own experience or that of someone close to them.

Ask Jigsaw: I feel so lost right now

My Mam and Dad separated recently and my Dad moved out. I am really angry with him for loads of different reasons. I have access with him on Saturday’s and its really awkward , we sit in McDonald’s and he asks really awkward questions about school and my Mam, I have told my Mam that I don’t want to go anymore and she says i have to go or else she will get in trouble with the court.

Its really getting to me because i think neither of them care about how i am feeling, they just care about the court and doing what they think they have to do, I done think anyone really cares about me and its getting me down

-Louise

Hi Louise,

When parents are separated it can bring up lots of emotions for people. We may feel relief, sadness, anger or fear about what will happen.  It means change in terms of practical arrangements and often can have an impact on our relationships with parents.

Ask Jigsaw: Techniques to help motivation

Im currently really struggling with finding motivation and interest in college. I enjoy the course but for some reason i just cant motivate myself enough to hold down and do the work. Its not just in college though and its impacting other parts of my life as well including work and general interaction. Is there any techniques that could help me to focus or that would help me with motivation?

-sk 

Hi sk,

Motivation rises and falls at different times throughout our lives. Understanding our own experience of it can  help us to manage it better.

Watch: Active listening

We’ve all had the experience of trying to say something to someone who is not really listening to us.

Active listening

In this animation we show how we can engage in active listening by showing young people these verbal and non-verbal signs:

Non-verbal

  • Eye contact, nodding and smiling
  • Leaning forward
  • Mirroring body language

Verbal

  • Remembering what is said. A young person will appreciate your full attention and focus.
  • Reflecting back what you’ve heard. This shows the young person that you’ve understood the key points of what they’ve said.
  • Seeking clarification. If a young person has shared something that you don’t understand, ask them to explain what they mean. This is better than pretending you get something, which a young person will pick up on.
  • Summarising. Recap your conversation and any decisions you have reached together to ensure you are both on the same page.

>> Read more about supporting youth mental health 

Ask Jigsaw: Thinking about meaning of life

i’ve been feeling not myself and thinking a lot about the meaning of life. i just don’t see a point if we all die in the end. i don’t want to die but i can’t stop constantly thinking about what is the point of anything.

i also keep thinking about what happens after death, is that it for everyone- that we just cease to exist. i haven’t thought about life this way before and i don’t like thinking about it this way but is it all that it is.

-9999

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out, those are some big questions that many of us grapple with.

Nicole’s story: Support for anxiety

Originally reported by RTE, Nicole, who is a Jigsaw volunteer, was interviewed to discuss youth mental health in the context of her own life.

This conversation was sparked by the release of My World Survey 2, carried out by UCD in conjunction with Jigsaw, which surveyed more than 19,000 young people in Ireland.

Nicole’s story

Nicole began experiencing feelings of anxiety when she started secondary school. Nicole is 17 years old and is from Co Offaly.

“Anxiety is a big challenge. From secondary school it became a big part of my life … it feels like pressure, but like built up, or like panic. It’s hard to explain but its overwhelming,” she said.

Being around large crowds of people could ignite her feelings of anxiety.

 

Racism and mental health

Although Ireland is known for being friendly and welcoming, racism does happen here.

Too often in Jigsaw we hear from young people about the negative impact racism has on their mental health. We hear of experiences ranging from discrimination to physical violence. It’s important that we are aware of the impact of this and act to challenge racism when we can.

Jigsaw is part of the Irish Network Against Racism. We are committed to challenging racism and supporting young people who are affected by it.