In this video, Leona talks about ways we can navigate the family conflict that can arise.
Category: Stress
Webinar: Self-care for teachers
Jigsaw Connect: Self-care for teachers
We recently ran two webinar for teachers, who have taken our online courses. The focus was how post-primary and primary school teachers can support their own mental health.
Ask Jigsaw: Supporting my friends
All of my close friend have been through bad mental health. Some just took time off school to reboot, some to therapists , and some to cahms/st.pats. I’ve been there for all of them throughout the years. First one was age 9 to now. Some are doing good and some are going down the wrong path into drugs. One in particular who I’ve known for my whole life is now known as the ‘popular pretty girl who was in a mental hospital’. She’s now heavy on drugs and can’t go a few days without going out and taking more. I don’t know what to do it’s starting to eat me up inside and now I can see myself going down the same path as the others in terms of mental health.
I was the strong happy funny kind girl who everyone counted on and vented to but now it’s all getting too much and I can’t separate myself because they all need my help but I also can’t continue doing this because I’m slowly losing my mind. I’m going into 6th year now so I want school to be my number one concern but my friends are all good in a bad place and I need to be there for them so I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I’m making sense there’s so much more to it and my minds going crazy.
I just need advice on how to balance helping my friends , school , social life and my own mental health and prepare myself for 6th year.
-Butterfly
Hi Butterfly,
It’s sounds like you are a really compassionate person and have been there for a lot of your friends over the years. While it is a nice to be able to support others, without a doubt it can take a toll on us. You may have heard the flight attendant on an airplane telling you to ‘look after your own mask first’. This is because, unless we prioritise looking after ourselves, we won’t have the capacity to be there for someone else. Looking after your own mental health is not a luxury, it is a necessity.
Brain drain exercise
Eimear, Jigsaw clinician, walks us through a ‘brain drain’ exercise that can help us when we start to overthink.
Listen: ACE tool for grounding
Leona, Jigsaw clinician, walks through a grounding tool called “ACE” to assist in stressful situations.
We developed an animation to illustrate.
‘A’ refers to accept how you are feeling
‘C’ refers to come back into your body
‘E’ refers to engage fully with what you are doing.
Ask Jigsaw: My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me
My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me 6 weeks ago on impulse. Since then we have remained in contact and has told me he doesn’t know if we’ll get back together. He’s been telling mutual friends and his counsellor that he wants to get back together, however he hasn’t shown or said that to me. I don’t know if he just wants time alone for now. I don’t know what to think. I’m spiraling as the days go by.
-HappyFace
Hello HappyFace,
Relationships can be tricky to navigate, as they are made up of two people, however, we only have control over the actions and behaviours of one of those (ourselves). Yet the actions and behaviours of the other person can have such an influence on us. The uncertainty regarding your future together sounds very difficult and it sounds like you are waiting for your boyfriend to make decisions. Rather than focusing on what your boyfriend wants, perhaps you can take some time to think about what it is that you want. Although it might not be your choice to split up, you do have a say in what happens next in terms of whether you want to remain in contact or not.
Ask Jigsaw: I ruin everything
How do I accept to love myself when I hate everything about me and want to change everything about me and feel I ruin everything I just want to be normal. Anon1.
Hi Anon1,
I’m sorry to hear that nothing feels right for you at the moment. Sometimes, it can feel like everyone else is doing well, and we are the only one struggling.
Ask Jigsaw: Getting obsessed about food
Because of exams i get stressed and because i cant exactly control what marks i get i sometimes turn to food as a thing i can control. everytime i eat something i think is this going to make me fatter or i should run to burn off what ive eaten or i dont need to eat this today. ive never properly restricted myself or looked properly at a scales everyday because im scared that i would get too obsessed so its just a battle everyday to eat and not think about what its doing to me. sorry this probably isnt a big deal but i just thought id say it x
-Louise
Hi Louise,
Many of us want to feel that we have a sense of control in our lives. Hence, when important things in our life can be affected by the actions of other people or events it can create feelings of anxiety, worry and stress. It sounds like in order to cope with the stress, you have started to focus on food and eating habits. I can hear in your question that you are worried about this, and probably recognise that this focus is not healthy.
Ask Jigsaw: Sleeping is almost impossible
sleeping is almost impossible. the thought of sleep scares me when i go to bed at night. i wonder how long will it take tonight before going to bed. i sometimes get anxious if i will be able to sleep at night
i also wake up sometimes in the middle of the night sometimes even up to three times. it makes me very tired at school and very hard to focus it also makes me so grumpy and puts me in a bad mood
it takes more than 30 minutes to fall asleep and sometimes when im up and cant sleep i say i will give myself 2 hours, but then i start to panic after a while when i cant sleep
– ?
Hi ? ,
There is lots of information available about how much sleep we ‘should’ get, depending on our age and activity levels. If we feel we are not reaching these levels, it can become a source of concern, thereby keeping us awake and adding to the problem! It can feel like sleeping is impossible.
Ask Jigsaw: Anxiety has been affecting my eating habits
Do you have advice for a young adult struggling with anxiety? I’ve recently been falling into fits of anxiety several times a day that have had a huge impact on my health. It had started out small with being anxious about being in a new town/home. The anxiety only grew with each passing day; they went from quick spells to hours of feeling tense and scared.
Now every noise or small bump sends my heart racing when im feeling anxious. Its gotten to the point where I pace around the house making sure that the noise I heard was nothing dangerous. I also feel as tho the anxiety has been severely damaging my eating habits and health. When I’m anxious I cant bring myself to eat because my stomach becomes severely upset. When its bad I cant even keep water or crackers in my stomach. Iv tried every remedy for an upset stomach; tums, crackers, club soda, ginger but nothing seems to work when my anxiety spikes. I’ve been coping with this for months, being sick and throwing up at least once a week.
I’ve been to a doctor about it fearing it to be something more, however ive been told by multiple doctors that the effects I’m experiencing are caused by stress (nothing they can do for that). Im not sure how much longer I can handle everything my anxiety and stress is doing to me. If there is any advice you can spare, I need to hear it. Thanks
-C
Hi C,
It sounds like your anxiety and stress are causing significant difficulties for you. There are many physical impacts of anxiety, and some people do experience stomach pain and upset. The physical signs of anxiety are usually really uncomfortable and upsetting, and it can be easy to focus on managing these and trying to reduce the discomfort. While this can provide some relief in the short term, it doesn’t address the underlying things that are contributing to the anxiety and stress.