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Category: Stress

Ask Jigsaw: My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me 6 weeks ago on impulse. Since then we have remained in contact and has told me he doesn’t know if we’ll get back together. He’s been telling mutual friends and his counsellor that he wants to get back together, however he hasn’t shown or said that to me. I don’t know if he just wants time alone for now. I don’t know what to think. I’m spiraling as the days go by.

-HappyFace

Hello HappyFace,

Relationships can be tricky to navigate, as they are made up of two people, however, we only have control over the actions and behaviours of one of those (ourselves). Yet the actions and behaviours of the other person can have such an influence on us. The uncertainty regarding your future together sounds very difficult and it sounds like you are waiting for your boyfriend to make decisions. Rather than focusing on what your boyfriend wants, perhaps you can take some time to think about what it is that you want. Although it might not be your choice to split up, you do have a say in what happens next in terms of whether you want to remain in contact or not.

Ask Jigsaw: I ruin everything

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

How do I accept to love myself when I hate everything about me and want to change everything about me and feel I ruin everything I just want to be normal. Anon1.

Hi Anon1,

I’m sorry to hear that nothing feels right for you at the moment. Sometimes, it can feel like everyone else is doing well, and we are the only one struggling.

Ask Jigsaw: Getting obsessed about food

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

Because of exams i get stressed and because i cant exactly control what marks i get i sometimes turn to food as a thing i can control. everytime i eat something i think is this going to make me fatter or i should run to burn off what ive eaten or i dont need to eat this today. ive never properly restricted myself or looked properly at a scales everyday because im scared that i would get too obsessed so its just a battle everyday to eat and not think about what its doing to me. sorry this probably isnt a big deal but i just thought id say it x

-Louise

Hi Louise,

Many of us want to feel that we have a sense of control in our lives. Hence, when important things in our life can be affected by the actions of other people or events it can create feelings of anxiety, worry and stress. It sounds like in order to cope with the stress, you have started to focus on food and eating habits. I can hear in your question that you are worried about this, and probably recognise that this focus is not healthy.

Ask Jigsaw: Anxiety has been affecting my eating habits

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

Do you have advice for a young adult struggling with anxiety? I’ve recently been falling into fits of anxiety several times a day that have had a huge impact on my health. It had started out small with being anxious about being in a new town/home. The anxiety only grew with each passing day; they went from quick spells to hours of feeling tense and scared.

Now every noise or small bump sends my heart racing when im feeling anxious. Its gotten to the point where I pace around the house making sure that the noise I heard was nothing dangerous. I also feel as tho the anxiety has been severely damaging my eating habits and health. When I’m anxious I cant bring myself to eat because my stomach becomes severely upset. When its bad I cant even keep water or crackers in my stomach. Iv tried every remedy for an upset stomach; tums, crackers, club soda, ginger but nothing seems to work when my anxiety spikes. I’ve been coping with this for months, being sick and throwing up at least once a week.

I’ve been to a doctor about it fearing it to be something more, however ive been told by multiple doctors that the effects I’m experiencing are caused by stress (nothing they can do for that). Im not sure how much longer I can handle everything my anxiety and stress is doing to me. If there is any advice you can spare, I need to hear it. Thanks

-C

Hi C,

It sounds like your anxiety and stress are causing significant difficulties for you. There are many physical impacts of anxiety, and some people do experience stomach pain and upset.  The physical signs of anxiety are usually really uncomfortable and upsetting, and it can be easy to focus on managing these and trying to reduce the discomfort. While this can provide some relief in the short term, it doesn’t address the underlying things that are contributing to the anxiety and stress.

Eva’s story: How Jigsaw services helped

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

Eva talks about what led her to contact Jigsaw and what the experience of getting one-on-one support from a Jigsaw Clinician was like for her.

Eva’s story

I was going through bit of a rough time. I was thinking that I was going to have to talk to someone about all of the things that were happening for me. So I googled Jigsaw and looked at the website and read the stories as well. I did wonder, is this really going to help me? Is this genuine? I just wasn’t sure what the service is about.

One day my rough times escalated … It was the month before my exams. I was in the library and I was so down that couldn’t focus at all. I was thinking, if this is going to continue, I will mess up my exams. I was constantly thinking about my worries and it wasn’t doing me any good. That’s why I decided to make a move and talk to someone.

Ask Jigsaw: How can this be normal?

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

how can i know now, being unable to seek advice from my GP or any professionals due to the coronavirus outbreak, whats wrong with me?

last week it was like my mind was running at ten thousand miles per hour with no way of controling it. my thoughts would be going so fast at any given time that if i didnt write them down as soon as i have them id have forgetten them.

but now its like nothing. its like theres only ever one thing on my mind on repeat over and over again. its the feeling of emptiness and nothingness, the feeling that makes me think: this isnt living, i might as well be dead.

of course i thought the fact of self isolation and social distancing is probably the cause of this feeling but this is not the first time ive felt this way its just up until now ive been able to distract myself by the people i care about and their problems.

but now as a 15 old alone in my own head with my own thoughts ive been forced to confront these feelings and emotions and have come to the conclusion that this cannot be normal otherwise how have so many people NOT committed suicide you know?

-idek anymore *Please note this question has been edited in length from the original submission

Hello idek anymore,

It sounds like you have been on a bit of a roller coaster recently, from thoughts racing to feeling numb. The fact that we don’t have access to all of the same supports and distractions as usual can certainly amplify the feelings and concerns that were already there.

Exercise, mental health and social distancing

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

Exercise is good for our physical and mental health. It has been really important to look after all aspects of our health during the pandemic.

For some of us, the word exercise can be off putting. However, it simply means to be active. It doesn’t have to mean going to the gym or taking part in competitive team sports.

We can view exercise as any activity that gets our body moving, increases our heart rate and breathing. Read more about how exercise can impact mental health.

However we choose to be active, it’s really important we remember to follow the guidelines on social distancing.

Ask Jigsaw: Scrolling for Coronavirus information

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

I am finding it really difficult to stop scrolling on my phone cos I need information about what’s going on. I want to take a break, but I don’t want to miss out on any updates. Plus I want to stay in touch with my friends, but that can be drama too. Some of them are freaking out and some just think the whole thing is a joke and are going out anyway. I don’t know whether to just turn my phone off altogether or how do I limit it?

-Starfish

Hello Starfish,

A lot of young people joining the Jigsaw online group chat are also noticing a change in what they’re seeing on their phone, and how it’s affecting them. There is a direct link between the time we spend online and our mental health.

Coronavirus and mental health

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

During this global pandemic the recommendation is social distancing and staying safe. There is also a lot of focus on mental health.

Looking after your mental health is always important. But with Coronavirus spreading, we now face more and different challenges to our wellbeing.

Some of the stressors that we now face include:

  • Uncertainty about the future
  • Loss of routine
  • Fear of catching Coronavirus
  • Isolation from social distancing
  • Losing loved ones
  • Spread of misinformation
  • Worry about the actions of others
  • Boredom.

It’s unrealistic to think that the current situation won’t affect most of us in some way. We might be experiencing feelings of stress right now, or feel slightly numb or immune to it. However, the more we pay attention to our emotional and psychological needs the easier it will be to get through this turbulent time.

Keep what works

Minding our mental health does not mean we do lots of new stuff. We need to change the things that have worked previously to our new situation. Think about what helped your mental health before. Find ways to incorporate them into your new regime. Watch 5-a-day for mental health here.

Strategies for managing mental health can be adapted for now. Read more about:

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