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Domestic violence and mental health

Over the lockdown restrictions, we were asked to stay at home where possible. This was really challenging if home was not somewhere safe.

Domestic violence can happen in any type of relationship, no matter what your age, gender or sexuality. It can also happen in any family, regardless of culture, status or financial situation.

If you have experienced domestic violence you are not alone. One study by the National Crime Council has shown 15% of women and 6% of men in Ireland have been subjected to domestic abuse.

Domestic violence is not your fault, and help is available. Both local and national services are still open and offering support, despite the pandemic.

In this article you will find:

Ask Jigsaw: Struggling to talk to people

Hello I am struggling to talk to many people such as aunts and uncles, grandparents, teachers, strangers etc. This causes me a lot of stress and makes me feel bad about myself. It’s very hard for me especially with COVID-19 because I can’t go see a physiologist about it. My mam found this website for me and I think it will really help with this. Thank you.

-Someone

 Hi Someone,  

Speaking to certain people can be difficult for a number of reasons. It certainly doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you.  

Talking to people we might not see often, or a person in authority like a teacher, is different to speaking to someone close. It’s natural to be a little worried that we might say the wrong thing, or not know what to say at all.  

 

Ask Jigsaw: Talking about self-harm

How do you open up to someone about self-harm? I’ve been contemplating telling my mam or sister for the past few days but I’m afraid they’ll think I’m stupid for turning to such a bad stress relief. I want to turn myself away for it.

I’ve been self harming for a few months now and no one has found out and it’s been great, but I’ve realised that in the end it’s not great and i need to tell someone. My anxiety is just getting worse and I can’t go through a full day without having 2-3 panic attacks. I just want to “get better”.

-emily

Ask Jigsaw: Dad hits me

Hi, I’m 17 year old girl. So I’m not really sure what to do, my dad hits me when he’s mad at me.

This has been going on for as long as I can remember I think originally when I was 7/8. He’s not an alcoholic or a drug addict, just when he gets mad at me for Doing something wrong it often results in me being dragged across the room by my hair, held by the back of my neck, hit in the face/arm and sometimes kicked and very often shouted at. But seeing as I don’t always obtain physical injuries (bruises ect) Is this something I should be worried about?

I tried telling my school a few years ago but once I told them I was scared something would happen to my dad and I pretended everything was fine. The problem is I love him but sometimes he says and does stuff (hitting etc) that are really hurtful. Chatting to him won’t work, as he’s stuck in his ways and my mum is on his side. I don’t know what to do

-Abcde

Hi Abcde,

Thank you for sharing your story with Ask Jigsaw. The first thing to say is that what is happening to you is not ok. It is never acceptable for an adult to hit or kick a young person. The fact that you may not have physical injuries does not make it ok. What you describe would be considered physical abuse.  It is also important to say that it is not your fault.

 

Ask Jigsaw: I miss my friend

I feel like I’m soo lost with how may life is going. I don’t really do anything. Everyday feels like nothing, with me doing the constant cycle of getting up going to school and home to my room.

I don’t have any friends except this one person I met online that live across the country from me over lockdown. We used to FaceTime every night for like 2 months(it was something I looked forward too every day)

But I don’t know if they want to talk to me now that lockdown is over as I feel like I’m annoying or they have other friends they’d rather talk to(he’s a very outgoing and has lots of friends ) as it’s been 3months since we talked properly and I don’t want to seem weird asking to call again as I’m scared we’d have nothing to talk about anymore and he’d think I’m stupid calling with nothing to say as my talking skills aren’t the best.

He helped me during a really lonely and dark place and he doesn’t even know that him just talking to me about random things helped and I miss it a lot

-Red

Hi Red,  

Losing an important friendship can change how we feel about everything, even the things that we previously enjoyed. 

Ask Jigsaw: Self-harming in second lockdown

Hi, I’ve just started first year in college and I’m trying to study from home. I can’t see my friends or boyfriend anymore and I haven’t been able to make real friends yet in college due to being at home.

Despite this I thought that I was coping okay with the situation of another lockdown, but I have recently started self-harming again and I can’t really understand why, it just feels like something I need to do.

I don’t have a great track record of always understanding or even realising what I’m actually feeling. So I was wondering if you could help me please. I know that thing will end eventually and there will be a light at the end of the tunnel but knowing and really believing are different things. 

-Niamh  

Hi Niamh,  

It is a difficult situation when, to protect our physical health, we can’t access some of things that help our mental health.  

Fed up with Covid

Let’s face it, it’s been a long, tough year. We are going the distance in the fight against Coronavirus, but understandably fatigue is setting in.

The public health announcements about how to stop the spread of the virus are clear, but the impact on our lives is significant. We are hearing from many young people about the countless disappointments and uncertainties they currently face. For many sleep continues to be affected, and motivation and drive is falling.

Ask Jigsaw: Are my feelings enough to get help?

I have been feeling low and my days seem to mesh together. I have been to a doctor and it wasn’t much help. I feel like my feelings aren’t severe enough for me to get help. 

However I’m really struggling and feel like life is extremely difficult to live. I would just like to know if it is normal to feel like I’m over exaggerating what I’m feeling, and if I’m invalidating others that have severe mental health issues  

-Hi

Hi,  

We hear from a lot of young people who feel their difficulties aren’t significant enough to get support. “It could always be worse they tell themselves to try and push through.