fbpx

Author: eve

Coping with parental separation

Posted on by eve

Parental separation is one of the many challenges that young people can experience during their life.

We might experience our parents separating during childhood, adolescence or in early adulthood. Regardless of when it happens, parental separation can bring up many difficult feelings and every person will experience it differently.

You may experience some of the following:

  • Sadness. When circumstances change in our parent’s relationship, this can lead to feelings of sadness. When we feel sad, we might notice a change in our mood, and we may not enjoy the things we usually get joy from.
  • Confusion. We may feel confused about what is happening in our family. We may feel like we are stuck in the middle of things at times or uncertain about what will happen in our future.
  • Guilt. At times we may feel guilty about the feelings we experience and thoughts we have about the separation.
  • Relief. We might feel a sense of relief when our parents come to an agreement about what will happen next.
  • Anger. We could feel angry about what is happening in our family and how things have changed.
  • Blame.  Sometimes when we are trying to understand what is happening, we may blame ourselves or others.
  • Loss. We may feel loss for how our family has changed.

Remember that parents choose to separate for many different reasons that are to do with their relationship. It is not your fault.

Ask Jigsaw: Best friend left me

Posted on by eve

What should I do if my best friend left me and I don’t have anyone else to talk to and at home I don’t feel good enough to talk to someone about it. School starts soon and I don’t want to have no friends.

-Hannah

Hi Hannah,

I’m sorry that you feel like you are on your own with no one to talk to. Friendships make us feel connected and understood. So when they end, it’s normal to feel lonely or sad. It’s hard to accept but we have no control over our friends’ actions, so if they end the friendship, we can feel helpless.

 

Ask Jigsaw: Gap year decision

Posted on by eve

I decided to take a gap year from starting college because of Covid causing everything to be online. I just feel like a coward who ran away as soon as the going got tough. But I just wanted to connect with people and be in the atmosphere of it all.

I’ve always felt trapped within myself, like I’m the audience watching characters in a scene and I can’t break that barrier. Doing College online only amplified this feelings as I was literally watching a screen.

I’m just afraid I made this choice out of fear. I was doing the course out of fear of not doing it and now I’m not doing the course out of fear of doing it. My family supported my decision and I felt brave for telling them how I felt but a part of me still feels like a coward and a failure and I’m afraid I’m going to waste this year and I’ll regret this decision in the future.

-Cole

Hi Cole,

There are many reasons for delaying the start of your studies or training after school. Making a decision to wait until you can fully engage in the college experience is brave. It sounds like it was one that you and your family put some thought into, so trust yourself.

How to ask for help

Posted on by eve

Whether we are feeling run down, experiencing low mood, or are in crisis we all need to reach out for support sometimes. You are not alone.

Recent research conducted by Orgyen and the World Economic Forum highlighted that 87% of the global population is affected by mental health difficulties. This can either be through individuals’ own experience or that of someone close to them.

Ask Jigsaw: I feel so lost right now

Posted on by eve

My Mam and Dad separated recently and my Dad moved out. I am really angry with him for loads of different reasons. I have access with him on Saturday’s and its really awkward , we sit in McDonald’s and he asks really awkward questions about school and my Mam, I have told my Mam that I don’t want to go anymore and she says i have to go or else she will get in trouble with the court.

Its really getting to me because i think neither of them care about how i am feeling, they just care about the court and doing what they think they have to do, I done think anyone really cares about me and its getting me down

-Louise

Hi Louise,

When parents are separated it can bring up lots of emotions for people. We may feel relief, sadness, anger or fear about what will happen.  It means change in terms of practical arrangements and often can have an impact on our relationships with parents.

Ask Jigsaw: Techniques to help motivation

Posted on by eve

Im currently really struggling with finding motivation and interest in college. I enjoy the course but for some reason i just cant motivate myself enough to hold down and do the work. Its not just in college though and its impacting other parts of my life as well including work and general interaction. Is there any techniques that could help me to focus or that would help me with motivation?

-sk 

Hi sk,

Motivation rises and falls at different times throughout our lives. Understanding our own experience of it can  help us to manage it better.

Ask Jigsaw: Thinking about meaning of life

Posted on by eve

i’ve been feeling not myself and thinking a lot about the meaning of life. i just don’t see a point if we all die in the end. i don’t want to die but i can’t stop constantly thinking about what is the point of anything.

i also keep thinking about what happens after death, is that it for everyone- that we just cease to exist. i haven’t thought about life this way before and i don’t like thinking about it this way but is it all that it is.

-9999

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out, those are some big questions that many of us grapple with.

Nicole’s story: Support for anxiety

Posted on by eve

Originally reported by RTE, Nicole, who is a Jigsaw volunteer, was interviewed to discuss youth mental health in the context of her own life.

This conversation was sparked by the release of My World Survey 2, carried out by UCD in conjunction with Jigsaw, which surveyed more than 19,000 young people in Ireland.

Nicole’s story

Nicole began experiencing feelings of anxiety when she started secondary school. Nicole is 17 years old and is from Co Offaly.

“Anxiety is a big challenge. From secondary school it became a big part of my life … it feels like pressure, but like built up, or like panic. It’s hard to explain but its overwhelming,” she said.

Being around large crowds of people could ignite her feelings of anxiety.