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Time spent online

Time spent online and social media are commonly viewed as the root causes of any problem that young people face.

For a lot of us, work and education is tied into a stable internet connection. Digital communication is more important than ever.

When we ask young people how long they spend online, they often refer to this amount as bad or negative. We’re all guilty of mindless scrolling at times, but does that make it bad?

In this article, you will find:

Dealing with change

We face many changes throughout our lives.

We might be finishing primary or secondary school, starting college, or getting a new job. Some of us decide to leave home or even move to a new country.

Change can occur within our families, such as separation, divorce, or the death of a family member. The world itself goes through many changes too. The political, environmental, and social environments are always in flux.

It can also be exciting, daunting, or exhausting. No matter what we feel about it, change is inevitable and can’t be avoided. When we’re finding it difficult, often the problem isn’t the change itself, but how we deal with it.

Ask Jigsaw: Moody and snappy at home

I often become very angry and sad at home, my parents normally give out to me to being moody or snappy but I don’t know why do it. I feel like I am being treated unfairly but when I look back on the situation I don’t know why I got so angry or what the problem was to begin with. Sometimes I blame it on hormones but I don’t know if it is something else instead. I was wondering if there was a way to stop getting angry and have a better relationship with my family?

Hello,

Emotions can be complicated things. Sometimes there is a really obvious reason for why we feel sad or angry. Sometimes it can feel like strong emotions erupt out of nowhere. Often when emotions seem to come from nowhere, it is due to a buildup of lots of small things over time that affect us.

Emma’s story

When I was in Junior Cert, I felt a bit stressed, but so did everyone else. It wasn’t too bad, but I was looking forward to doing transition year for a bit of a break.

When I started in TY, things began to go downhill. My best friend had gone straight into fifth year and started hanging around with a new group. We weren’t spending as much time with each other and I didn’t feel like going out as much. You’re supposed to really enjoy TY, but I found it hard to get motivated.

It felt like there was no point in going in to school most days. I started having arguments with my mum about homework and getting up in the morning. Everything just felt boring and pointless.

It all came to a head when we were at my Nan’s 80th birthday. All my family were there and usually I’d really enjoy family parties, but I just didn’t feel like I wanted to be there. My aunt came up to me and started asking about school. You can tell when someone is just asking to be polite, but she was genuinely interested.

Watch: Concerned about being left behind

When a group of friends head off in different directions after finishing school, it is easy to feel concerned about being left behind.

Jigsaw volunteers Sam, Nicola and Rachel, with Youth and Community worker Sinead, talk about how they feel about leaving their school friends as they head off on new adventures.

Watch: Worried about making friends

After not clicking with people in first year, Jess, Jigsaw Volunteer talks to Conor, Jigsaw Clinician about heading back to college and being worried about making friends all over again.

Conor explains that when we have had bad experiences with friendships, picking ourselves back up it can be challenging. We might be feeling rejected, or a bit hopeless about meeting new people.

Watch: How to start a conversation

Eimear, Jigsaw volunteer, asks for advice about how to start a conversation in a new situation, for example when starting a new course.

Jigsaw works with many young people who go to a class, society meetings or football training and still feel lonely. This is because they find it really hard to talk to someone. So they’re going, but not connecting. That can be really hard and there’s not a simple fix.

When we’ve gone through difficult experiences like being bullied, or have had negative relationships, we can start to believe unhelpful things. We can start to believe “no one would want to speak to me” or “I’m not good enough for people to talk to”.

Ask Jigsaw: Obsessed with calorie counting

Hey, not sure if this is relevant so please feel free to ignore if there are better questions.

How do you know when you’re ‘bad enough’? I know that everyone says no problem is too small, but I can’t help but feel that if I seek help somewhere that I’d be taking the spot away from someone else who is more in need.

Over the past year, I’ve gotten super obsessed with counting my calories; restricting and then ‘binging’ (not really large amounts of food, just more than I think I should be eating) as a result, occasionally using other methods like appetite suppressants and laxatives to compensate. However, I don’t think that it’s serious as I’m not under weight or over weight yet, so I don’t think I have an eating disorder?
Not sure what I should do, I’d really appreciate an insight, as the new year is making me feel like there’s more I should be doing to be skinnier etc.

Thank you so much x

-Sershxo

Hi Sershxo,

Many people who have come to Jigsaw have worried that their problem isn’t ‘bad enough’ or that others need or deserve the support more. It is very difficult to compare problems, as there are usually so many different factors at play, including the issue or issues, the coping resources someone has, what is going on around them etc. Rather than thinking about other people who may access a service, it is more helpful to think about your own needs.