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Category: Ask Jigsaw Q&A

Ask Jigsaw: Missing out on college experience

Posted on by eve

Hi,

Lately I’ve been feeling very down and not being able to feel positive. I’m a college student, but haven’t been able to move away from home because of the virus. I live in a rural area where I don’t know many people and I feel very isolated. Many of my friends have moved away and are having fun in student accommodation.

I feel as if the “best years” of my life are wasting away before me and I am not getting the college experience. My last year in college starts next year. I am afraid that it will too be wasted with restrictions and having no social life. I am the youngest in my family and when I compare my college experience to my siblings it upsets me, as I feel as if I will never get that.

Being stuck at home, bored and lonely has made me feel constantly down, anxious and stressed. I know that nothing can be done to change my circumstances, but how can I help myself to feel some happiness. Thanks 

-Lulu17

 

Hi Lulu17,

Your reaction to the Covid-19 restrictions is something we have heard from many young people. Being unable to move away for the college year feels unfair, and I can understand why you are feeling anxious and feeling down at home.

Ask Jigsaw: I feel like everyone hates me

Posted on by eve

I am always down and sad. I’m 13 and I’m a girl I feel like everyone hates me and I’m alone. I have a few friends but I’ve been sad because I lost my very close friends and it’s hurting. I feel like I have anxiety but I don’t know. I’m really a mess and I need someone to talk to. I’m crying a lot and sad. I feel like nobody understands thank you for taking ur time 

-Bb

Hi Bb,

Feeling down can make us feel fed up, teary,  lonely and worried. It can also change how we view situations. We can think that people dislike us or that we aren’t good enough, even though these thoughts aren’t true. This can be exhausting and it’s important to mind yourself when feeling this way.

Ask Jigsaw: Feel alone and bite myself

Posted on by eve

I feel really alone right now I don’t feel I can tell my parents. I cry when nobody’s around and I bite my hand instead of cutting, it hurts but it helps me feel better. if you have any tips any at all that would mean a lot thank you.

-Doglover88

Hi Doglover88,

I am sorry to hear that you feel alone right now and it feels like you cannot tell your parents. However,  you should know that you are not alone.

Ask Jigsaw: Assessment for ADHD

Posted on by eve

I’ve been thinking for a long time now that I might have ADHD and I want to get tested for it. It affects me daily and especially ever since the lockdowns and my school exams started. I was wondering how I could get tested for it but I didn’t know how  

 -Fluffydog

Hi Fluffydog, 

Thank you for reaching out and for sharing what has been going on for you. I’m sorry to hear this has been impacting you so much. 

Ask Jigsaw: Do I need parental consent?

Posted on by eve

I am a minor and I want to get professional help. but, in my current situation, I do not feel like I can go to my parents but I need parental consent to receive any form of treatment. Is there any way I’d be able to go about receiving treatment or counselling without my parents being involved or notified?

-a

Hi a,

Thanks for your question. We often hear from young people who feel that they can’t talk to their parents but are looking for support. So you are not on your own with this.

Ask Jigsaw: Struggling to talk to people

Posted on by eve

Hello I am struggling to talk to many people such as aunts and uncles, grandparents, teachers, strangers etc. This causes me a lot of stress and makes me feel bad about myself. It’s very hard for me especially with COVID-19 because I can’t go see a physiologist about it. My mam found this website for me and I think it will really help with this. Thank you.

-Someone

 Hi Someone,  

Speaking to certain people can be difficult for a number of reasons. It certainly doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you.  

Talking to people we might not see often, or a person in authority like a teacher, is different to speaking to someone close. It’s natural to be a little worried that we might say the wrong thing, or not know what to say at all.  

 

Ask Jigsaw: Talking about self-harm

Posted on by eve

How do you open up to someone about self-harm? I’ve been contemplating telling my mam or sister for the past few days but I’m afraid they’ll think I’m stupid for turning to such a bad stress relief. I want to turn myself away for it.

I’ve been self harming for a few months now and no one has found out and it’s been great, but I’ve realised that in the end it’s not great and i need to tell someone. My anxiety is just getting worse and I can’t go through a full day without having 2-3 panic attacks. I just want to “get better”.

-emily

Ask Jigsaw: Dad hits me

Posted on by eve

Hi, I’m 17 year old girl. So I’m not really sure what to do, my dad hits me when he’s mad at me.

This has been going on for as long as I can remember I think originally when I was 7/8. He’s not an alcoholic or a drug addict, just when he gets mad at me for Doing something wrong it often results in me being dragged across the room by my hair, held by the back of my neck, hit in the face/arm and sometimes kicked and very often shouted at. But seeing as I don’t always obtain physical injuries (bruises ect) Is this something I should be worried about?

I tried telling my school a few years ago but once I told them I was scared something would happen to my dad and I pretended everything was fine. The problem is I love him but sometimes he says and does stuff (hitting etc) that are really hurtful. Chatting to him won’t work, as he’s stuck in his ways and my mum is on his side. I don’t know what to do

-Abcde

Hi Abcde,

Thank you for sharing your story with Ask Jigsaw. The first thing to say is that what is happening to you is not ok. It is never acceptable for an adult to hit or kick a young person. The fact that you may not have physical injuries does not make it ok. What you describe would be considered physical abuse.  It is also important to say that it is not your fault.

 

Ask Jigsaw: I miss my friend

Posted on by eve

I feel like I’m soo lost with how may life is going. I don’t really do anything. Everyday feels like nothing, with me doing the constant cycle of getting up going to school and home to my room.

I don’t have any friends except this one person I met online that live across the country from me over lockdown. We used to FaceTime every night for like 2 months(it was something I looked forward too every day)

But I don’t know if they want to talk to me now that lockdown is over as I feel like I’m annoying or they have other friends they’d rather talk to(he’s a very outgoing and has lots of friends ) as it’s been 3months since we talked properly and I don’t want to seem weird asking to call again as I’m scared we’d have nothing to talk about anymore and he’d think I’m stupid calling with nothing to say as my talking skills aren’t the best.

He helped me during a really lonely and dark place and he doesn’t even know that him just talking to me about random things helped and I miss it a lot

-Red

Hi Red,  

Losing an important friendship can change how we feel about everything, even the things that we previously enjoyed. 

Ask Jigsaw: Self-harming in second lockdown

Posted on by eve

Hi, I’ve just started first year in college and I’m trying to study from home. I can’t see my friends or boyfriend anymore and I haven’t been able to make real friends yet in college due to being at home.

Despite this I thought that I was coping okay with the situation of another lockdown, but I have recently started self-harming again and I can’t really understand why, it just feels like something I need to do.

I don’t have a great track record of always understanding or even realising what I’m actually feeling. So I was wondering if you could help me please. I know that thing will end eventually and there will be a light at the end of the tunnel but knowing and really believing are different things. 

-Niamh  

Hi Niamh,  

It is a difficult situation when, to protect our physical health, we can’t access some of things that help our mental health.