When a group of friends head off in different directions after finishing school, it is easy to feel concerned about being left behind.
Jigsaw volunteers Sam, Nicola and Rachel, with Youth and Community worker Sinead, talk about how they feel about leaving their school friends as they head off on new adventures.
After not clicking with people in first year, Jess, Jigsaw Volunteer talks to Conor, Jigsaw Clinician about heading back to college and being worried about making friends all over again.
Conor explains that when we have had bad experiences with friendships, picking ourselves back up it can be challenging. We might be feeling rejected, or a bit hopeless about meeting new people.
Eimear, Jigsaw volunteer, asks for advice about how to start a conversation in a new situation, for example when starting a new course.
Jigsaw works with many young people who go to a class, society meetings or football training and still feel lonely. This is because they find it really hard to talk to someone. So they’re going, but not connecting. That can be really hard and there’s not a simple fix.
When we’ve gone through difficult experiences like being bullied, or have had negative relationships, we can start to believe unhelpful things. We can start to believe “no one would want to speak to me” or “I’m not good enough for people to talk to”.
Having a routine is good for our wellbeing. It creates structure in our week and gives us a sense of purpose. Routine also makes it easier to do the things that are important to us.
With schools and colleges closed, work situations changing, and physical distancing, many people are struggling with daily life feeling quite different.
We can use routine as a way to support our mental health at this time.
We live in a competitive world, where comparison is everywhere. It’s often present in school or college, on the sports field or in relation to social status.
There can be a focus on ‘being the best’ when we are ranked and compared to those around us.
At school or in college there is often competition, with exams designed to assess our academic ability. Ratings can be compared to every other person our age in Ireland.
Sports can come with pressure and a focus on winning. Even in non-competitive activities, such as the gym, we are encouraged to try to get a ‘personal best’. We might focus on doing more weights or improving our time, in competition with ourselves to be our best.
Online and on social media, we can usually see how many followers/friends, likes, or comments another person receives. We often compare our social media stats to those of others. Looking at posts and wondering why some got more support than others can become a habit. What stories are we telling ourselves about success and failure?
Being single doesn’t seem like something to celebrate. Relationships are the focus of a lot of the popular culture we consume.
It can also take a period of adjustment if we recently find ourselves single, through a break-up, or ending a relationship.
Our Instagram feeds are filled with snaps of ‘happy couples’ and #relationshipgoals. There’s a mountain of advice on how not to be single. So, you’d be forgiven for thinking everyone in the world is in a relationship except you.
However, that’s not the case. According to the most recent Irish Census, 41% of people over 15 years-old are single. Yet still, we can feel the pressure to ‘couple up’ and this can be challenging.
Life can feel full of pressure sometimes. Especially while we figure out who we are, what we want, and how we want our lives to be.
Young people who come to Jigsaw often talk to us about the pressure they’re feeling. Some of the things they feel pressure from include:
We know that friends turn to each other for support. Friends can often be the first port of call when times are tough.
It can be hard to see friends going through a difficult time and know what you can do for them.
As technology advances, the accessibility of porn has increased. We know that many young people in Ireland are consuming porn.
The recent My World Survey, a study of young people in Ireland, had relevant results on this. It found that almost two-thirds of young adults had watched pornography on the internet.
Are you aged 12 to 25 and looking to get one-to-one support with your mental health? If so, your local Jigsaw service can help.
Start the process by calling or emailing your local Jigsaw service yourself. Your parent or guardian, or teacher, doctor, or youth worker can also take that first step, contacting the service for you with your permission.
If you are under 18, Jigsaw requires that an adult consent for you to attend. That means we need to check with your parent or guardian and let them know you want to attend our service.
However, it does not mean we have to tell them why you want to come to Jigsaw. We will discuss what we can keep confidential with you when you come in.
Once you get in touch, a member of staff will ask you for some basic details. If you both decide Jigsaw is the right service for you, they will organise an appointment for you with a Jigsaw Clinician.
If your situation is more complicated, they might arrange for a Jigsaw Clinician to call you back. This will be to discuss things in a bit more detail before deciding on the next steps.
Jigsaw is a mental health service. But more specifically, it is an early intervention service for young people at primary care level.
