Ask Jigsaw: Frustrated and lonely

I feel very frustrated and lonely most of the time because i can’t express my problems to anyone i know. At school i only have one or two friends that im not that close to, and i cant tell my family either because ive tried to, but they dont understand me and it frustrates me.

Even if i had close friends, i wouldnt want to open up because in previous friendships it hasnt helped me (to open up) and they never understand anyway.

The problems are about being really anxious, feeling sad and disoriented very often and a lot of negative feelings. I feel lonely because its like im on my own and i cant turn to anyone for help


Fitting in at school

It can seem like everyone else has found their group and is fitting in at school. We can end up feeling very lonely and isolated when we don’t feel we fit in. 

If you feel like you don’t fit in, you’re not on your own. According to My World Survey 2, over one in five young people considered friends to be a source of stress. 39% of adolescents reported that they had experienced bullying at some point in their lives.

As we get older, we tend to spend much less time with family and more time with friends. For many young people, fitting in is really important. It seems that everybody wants to be popular. This can lead to social rivalry, competition and bullying, particularly in school.

When you feel like you don’t fit in, it can be an extremely tough experience. There are no easy answers, but some of the following may help.

Ask Jigsaw: Life not the same since bereavement

Ever since my niece died my life hasn’t been the same, I’ve always been quiet lonely and now it’s even worse I feel useless all the time and my life is a chore. i realised one of the only reason I’m living was for her I don’t know what to do anymore


Hi Turtle,

I am so sorry for the loss of your niece. Grief is a really tough emotion and can take more time than we might realise to work through. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. You can read more about grief and loss here.


Ask Jigsaw: I feel lonely at school

What do I do when no one at school likes me and when I feel lonely at school and have no one to go to and don’t want to go to a counsellor or a teacher because you feel they aren’t helpful.


Hi RedLight2,

I am sorry that you are feeling so lonely and you haven’t found that anyone has been helpful. School can be really tough at times. It can seem that some people make friends easily and find their ‘tribe’ straight away. However, for some of us, fitting in is more challenging and school can amplify our sense of loneliness.

Ask Jigsaw: Feeling lonely with Covid-19

Hi. I’m feeling especially lonely at this time. More so than other days where I do feel lonely too, but now I’m completely isolated. I don’t have a friend group or support system to keep me company online and my family do keep in touch but they are far away (I’m a student studying abroad). The uncertainty of the global situation is also giving me major anxiety. I don’t know how to cope.


Hi there wav3rid3r,

There is more uncertainty and isolation in our world now, than we have probably ever experienced. Understandably, this can make our feelings of loneliness and experience of anxiety much more intense. As a student abroad, you are physically distanced from your supports which must be tough for you.

Ask Jigsaw: No one to talk to

I’m sick of pretending that everything’s ok when I’m hurting so bad and I have no one to talk to I’m just so alone and wish I had someone to turn to what should I do since I have no one to talk to.

– Mary

Hi Mary,

I’m sorry to hear that things are so hard for you right now and you feel so alone. It is great that you want to talk about what is going on, and recognise the importance of this. It is not always easy to know who the best person is to talk to however. While some people might have a really obvious ‘one good adult’ in their life, for some of us it might take a bit more figuring out.

Friendships and mental health

Friends are a big part of our everyday lives. Having good friends can greatly increase our overall sense of wellbeing.

What is friendship?

There are different kinds of friendships. A good friend can make all the difference if you’re going through a rough time. Some friendships are supportive and others are about hanging out, banter and not so much sharing how you’re feeling. That’s OK.

Ask Jigsaw: Would people remember me?

Do you think if i killed myself people would remember me because i feel like I’m not the kinda person to be dwelled, School is getting harder and harder and sometimes it feels like i cant breathe with the persure being put on me, Sorry for bothering you with my problems feel free to ignore x


Hi Emma,

Thank you for getting in touch and talking about these difficult feelings. It sounds like things are really tough for you at the moment.

I would urge you to get support, and there are a number of options. First of all, think if there is an adult in your life who you could talk to about these feelings. It could be a family member, teacher or any one you trust. If it’s hard to say things out loud, you could show them this message and let them know that it is you.

Ask Jigsaw: Fell out with a friend

Near the end of school last year I fell out with my friends, well one of them but then the rest took their side.

I have had little to no contact with them over the summer. I’ve tried to reach out to some in the group but nothing which is making me angry as well as depressed.

Hi there,

It’s really tough when you fall out with friends, particularly over the summer when often people don’t see each other as much as when they are in school. The lack of contact can lead us to feeling very alone and isolated.