Whether it’s your first time coming out, or your hundredth, it can be both a daunting and liberating time.
Coming out begins with coming out to ourselves. We need to allow time to explore and discover who we are physically, romantically and sexually attracted to. Here are some tips that can be helpful to remember.
Hi
I’m 24 and my main problem is I’m very aware of the fact that I have never been in a close relationship with a girl in my life and I feel like I’m a real outlier in this regard. I’m very worried that I will never find someone and will always be alone. I became close to a few girls in college but they all rejected me just when I felt like things may be getting serious.
I still have strong feelings for one particular girl but am resigned to the fact that this will always be unrequited. I question myself daily as to why I was not good enough for this girl and this had led to me feeling very low at times. This has been going on for a number of years and I feel like my self-esteem has really taken a battering as a result.
During this time I have watched as nearly all the members of my close friend group have managed to find themselves in long-term relationships. I find it very hard to forgive myself for messing up my chances at relationships during college. I wonder a lot about “what might have been”. Would appreciate any words you would have to say about all this. Thank you.
–1995
Hi there 1995,
It makes sense that you feel you’re missing out by not having close relationships in the past. Through social media, tv and films we often get the message that in order to feel fulfilled and happy, we need to be in a romantic relationship. This is certainly not true.
Connections with friends, family, even pets and nature can be just as (and sometimes more!) fulfilling. You can read more about being single and feeling happy here.
We face many changes throughout our lives.
We might be finishing primary or secondary school, starting college, or getting a new job. Some of us decide to leave home or even move to a new country.
Change can occur within our families, such as separation, divorce, or the death of a family member. The world itself goes through many changes too. The political, environmental, and social environments are always in flux.
It can also be exciting, daunting, or exhausting. No matter what we feel about it, change is inevitable and can’t be avoided. When we’re finding it difficult, often the problem isn’t the change itself, but how we deal with it.
I often become very angry and sad at home, my parents normally give out to me to being moody or snappy but I don’t know why do it. I feel like I am being treated unfairly but when I look back on the situation I don’t know why I got so angry or what the problem was to begin with. Sometimes I blame it on hormones but I don’t know if it is something else instead. I was wondering if there was a way to stop getting angry and have a better relationship with my family?
Hello,
Emotions can be complicated things. Sometimes there is a really obvious reason for why we feel sad or angry. Sometimes it can feel like strong emotions erupt out of nowhere. Often when emotions seem to come from nowhere, it is due to a buildup of lots of small things over time that affect us.
Breaking up with someone is never easy. Making a decision to move on is sad even if it’s something you both want.
If one of you wants to break up and the other doesn’t, it gets even more complicated.
However, if your relationship is abusive, emotionally or physically, you should end it. No matter how much you care about each other, ending an abusive relationship is always the right thing to do.
It doesn’t matter how long it lasted, or how serious the relationship was. It’s about what it meant to you. How you felt about that person and how the relationship actually ended will all impact how you react to it.
There is no right or wrong way to feel. Every relationship is different. Acknowledge and allow yourself to feel whatever is going on for you.
Disruptions caused by the pandemic changed life as we know it. We were challenged to accept the uncertainty of the moment.
Focusing on what is within our control helped with the stress we may have felt.
We can, fortunately, control how we maintain our connections and friendships with others. Covid may have made us more aware of our vulnerabilities. However, we have also been able to find new ways to connect and care for the people in our lives.
From singing across balconies to neighbourhood volunteer groups, people across the globe found ways to connect.
Conflict within families can be a big source of distress for young people who come to Jigsaw.
Often times, family conflict can bring up feelings of anxiety, anger, confusion or fear. Conflict is when there is a struggle or clash between people who have differences of opinion, interests or attitudes.
Being single doesn’t seem like something to celebrate. Relationships are the focus of a lot of the popular culture we consume.
It can also take a period of adjustment if we recently find ourselves single, through a break-up, or ending a relationship.
Our Instagram feeds are filled with snaps of ‘happy couples’ and #relationshipgoals. There’s a mountain of advice on how not to be single. So, you’d be forgiven for thinking everyone in the world is in a relationship except you.
However, that’s not the case. According to the most recent Irish Census, 41% of people over 15 years-old are single. Yet still, we can feel the pressure to ‘couple up’ and this can be challenging.
Life can feel full of pressure sometimes. Especially while we figure out who we are, what we want, and how we want our lives to be.
Young people who come to Jigsaw often talk to us about the pressure they’re feeling. Some of the things they feel pressure from include:
We know that friends turn to each other for support. Friends can often be the first port of call when times are tough.
It can be hard to see friends going through a difficult time and know what you can do for them.
