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Brings categories: a young person

Ask Jigsaw: Talking about self-harm

Posted on by eve

How do you open up to someone about self-harm? I’ve been contemplating telling my mam or sister for the past few days but I’m afraid they’ll think I’m stupid for turning to such a bad stress relief. I want to turn myself away for it.

I’ve been self harming for a few months now and no one has found out and it’s been great, but I’ve realised that in the end it’s not great and i need to tell someone. My anxiety is just getting worse and I can’t go through a full day without having 2-3 panic attacks. I just want to “get better”.

-emily

Ask Jigsaw: Dad hits me

Posted on by eve

Hi, I’m 17 year old girl. So I’m not really sure what to do, my dad hits me when he’s mad at me.

This has been going on for as long as I can remember I think originally when I was 7/8. He’s not an alcoholic or a drug addict, just when he gets mad at me for Doing something wrong it often results in me being dragged across the room by my hair, held by the back of my neck, hit in the face/arm and sometimes kicked and very often shouted at. But seeing as I don’t always obtain physical injuries (bruises ect) Is this something I should be worried about?

I tried telling my school a few years ago but once I told them I was scared something would happen to my dad and I pretended everything was fine. The problem is I love him but sometimes he says and does stuff (hitting etc) that are really hurtful. Chatting to him won’t work, as he’s stuck in his ways and my mum is on his side. I don’t know what to do

-Abcde

Hi Abcde,

Thank you for sharing your story with Ask Jigsaw. The first thing to say is that what is happening to you is not ok. It is never acceptable for an adult to hit or kick a young person. The fact that you may not have physical injuries does not make it ok. What you describe would be considered physical abuse.  It is also important to say that it is not your fault.

 

Ask Jigsaw: I miss my friend

Posted on by eve

I feel like I’m soo lost with how may life is going. I don’t really do anything. Everyday feels like nothing, with me doing the constant cycle of getting up going to school and home to my room.

I don’t have any friends except this one person I met online that live across the country from me over lockdown. We used to FaceTime every night for like 2 months(it was something I looked forward too every day)

But I don’t know if they want to talk to me now that lockdown is over as I feel like I’m annoying or they have other friends they’d rather talk to(he’s a very outgoing and has lots of friends ) as it’s been 3months since we talked properly and I don’t want to seem weird asking to call again as I’m scared we’d have nothing to talk about anymore and he’d think I’m stupid calling with nothing to say as my talking skills aren’t the best.

He helped me during a really lonely and dark place and he doesn’t even know that him just talking to me about random things helped and I miss it a lot

-Red

Hi Red,  

Losing an important friendship can change how we feel about everything, even the things that we previously enjoyed. 

Ask Jigsaw: Self-harming in second lockdown

Posted on by eve

Hi, I’ve just started first year in college and I’m trying to study from home. I can’t see my friends or boyfriend anymore and I haven’t been able to make real friends yet in college due to being at home.

Despite this I thought that I was coping okay with the situation of another lockdown, but I have recently started self-harming again and I can’t really understand why, it just feels like something I need to do.

I don’t have a great track record of always understanding or even realising what I’m actually feeling. So I was wondering if you could help me please. I know that thing will end eventually and there will be a light at the end of the tunnel but knowing and really believing are different things. 

-Niamh  

Hi Niamh,  

It is a difficult situation when, to protect our physical health, we can’t access some of things that help our mental health.  

Fed up with Covid

Posted on by eve

Let’s face it, it’s been a long, tough year. We are going the distance in the fight against Coronavirus, but understandably fatigue is setting in.

The public health announcements about how to stop the spread of the virus are clear, but the impact on our lives is significant. We are hearing from many young people about the countless disappointments and uncertainties they currently face. For many sleep continues to be affected, and motivation and drive is falling.

Ask Jigsaw: Are my feelings enough to get help?

Posted on by eve

I have been feeling low and my days seem to mesh together. I have been to a doctor and it wasn’t much help. I feel like my feelings aren’t severe enough for me to get help. 

However I’m really struggling and feel like life is extremely difficult to live. I would just like to know if it is normal to feel like I’m over exaggerating what I’m feeling, and if I’m invalidating others that have severe mental health issues  

-Hi

Hi,  

We hear from a lot of young people who feel their difficulties aren’t significant enough to get support. “It could always be worse” they tell themselves to try and push through. 

Continuing to live with Covid

Posted on by eve

Meghan, 20, a Jigsaw volunteer from Cork gives her story: The past few months have been uncertain for myself, and I’m sure many others, with many new changes in every aspect of our lives.

Uncertainty of when I’ll be able to see my friends, uncertainty around college and when we’ll be going back on campus, work and being able to feel comfortable and safe in crowded areas.

Ask Jigsaw: How to approach getting help

Posted on by eve

Hi,
Recently I feel like my mental heath has gotten quite bad. I’ve been able to ignore how I feel in the past but something, I’m not sure what, has changed and I think I need to look into options for what can I do because I definitely can’t continue like this.

I’m not sure how to approach getting help though. I’ve heard of jigsaw through friends and from looking it up online but I have no idea would the jigsaw facilities work for me or should I go to my GP?

I don’t have anyone I feel comfortable talking to in my life right now so this is why I’ve come here.
I’m 18 and I haven’t been diagnosed with anything. I don’t know if that changes things or if it matters.

Thanks.
-Olivia 

Hi Olivia,

I’m sorry to hear that your mental health has gotten quite bad recently. You don’t have to ignore how you feel, and talking things through can really help.

There are lots of support options out there, and it can feel overwhelming when trying to decide where to start. I can tell you a little bit about the supports we offer at Jigsaw, which might help you to decide if it would be suitable for you.

Ask Jigsaw: Guilty for feeling sad

Posted on by eve

when I feel a negative feeling like anger, sadness or loneliness. I always feel so guilty and overall stupid for having those feelings because I know that I have had a pretty okay life compared to those who in the world who have suffered from so much pain and hurt that they didn’t deserve.

But I was just wondering is it normal to feel your feelings are not valid and unimportant? I just think I have always had some sort of just a numbness in my heart that I’ve just gotten used to, so any different feeling to that numb feeling is followed by guilt. I am grateful that I’m here everyday though. Just its something I think about all the time and I had to ask. Thank You

-chico093

Hi Chico093,

I can tell from your question that you are a very thoughtful, caring, self-aware person. Your question is actually something we hear a good bit at Jigsaw and something that many young people struggle with.