While self-care has always been important, the current situation with Covid-19 creates many new challenges for parents.
The loss of usual routines, trying to support young people through the crisis, juggling many roles and spending long periods of time cooped up with the family. All of this, combined with understandable worry regarding the crisis means it is vital for parents to look after their own mental health.
We ran a webinar for parents where two Jigsaw clinicians gave a presentation about supporting your mental health while social distancing. They then took questions from parents about what was going on for them.
The new measures can still throw up a lot of uncertainty and disappointment about plans that either have to postponed, or canceled. Keeping yourself and the young people in your life positive and motivated right now can take a bit of of extra work. Hopefully, this webinar covers useful tips for you to try at this time.
We ran a webinar for parents about supporting young people to manage anxiety during these unusual times.
In this recording, Jen and Fiona, provided an overview of what anxiety is along with some practical coping strategies. They then took questions from parents. The video below is a recording of the webinar.
We ran a webinar for parents about helping young people manage disappointment. In this recording, Maebh and Dan gave a short presentation. They then took questions from parents. The video above is a recording.
How can you try and get your 14 year old teenager to homework and just generally comply and not make life difficult for everyone else during this time.
-Dee
Hi Dee,
This is a really challenging time for all members of the family. Being cooped up in the house together, without the normal routine and our usual social supports is really tough. For parents and young people alike.
With advances in technology, pornography has become more and more accessible to young people. It is no longer confined to the top shelf of the newspaper shop, but can be accessed anywhere, anytime.
Although it might be awkward, we need to be having conversations with young people about porn and the impact it can have.
If a young person in your life seems to be having a tough time, trust your instinct something isn’t right.
There are plenty of signs to look out for that are good to know. If you want to start a difficult conversation but don’t know where to begin, you are not alone.
Many young people have missed out on a number of opportunities and milestones since the pandemic started. And there can be no question this can impact on everyone’s mood in the family unit.
When a young person is feeling down, stressed out or experiencing anxiety, they may become closed off or defensive. They can find it hard to talk about what is going on. In response to the pandemic and restrictions, they may not know or understand emotions they’re experiencing.
Some things can be challenging to communicate. However, whether able to open up or not, a young person will likely appreciate being offered the opportunity to talk. They will benefit from knowing someone is there to support them when they are ready to accept help.
Finding the right time is important to consider. You need an adequate amount of time available so neither of you feels pressure to reach a quick conclusion. It’s wise to choose a time when you are both free without something to rush off to.
The young person may have a deadline for homework or is distracted by a football game. In this case, it is unlikely they will want to talk. Remember, your priorities may not be the same.
A convenient time to talk may crop up naturally when you are both relaxed and doing something together. However, it may not be that easy to start a tough conversation.
You might have to deliberately make the time. Don’t try to be a mind reader on this. Let the young person know you’d like to spend some time with them and ask when suits them.
Jonathan* is a teenager who was referred to Jigsaw by his GP. Below, Jonathan’s aunt talks about how Jigsaw helped him deal with anxious thoughts and find ways to look after his mental health.
Jonathan’s mother was drinking, and from time to time in hospital with her mental health. His dad was the stable parent in the relationship, but we lost him after a tragic accident. His mother couldn’t help her addiction to alcohol, so she was open to me fostering Jonathan. He came to live with me at the age of seven and his first few years were great, but as he got to puberty things started to slide. It broke my heart when his friends stopped knocking and he started isolating himself.
He’s a really intelligent young fella and likes reading. After our first big conversation about how he was feeling, he left one of his books, The Fault in Our Stars, on the hall landing with a note that said, ‘Read the first page’. He was trying to tell me something, but he hadn’t the words. I knew that something was not right.
One day I got a series of texts from him in school. I could tell that he was anxious. When I collected him that day, he got distressed and spieled off all the things that were upsetting him. I like to take action, so we visited my doctor who referred Jonathan to Jigsaw.
Stress is the body’s way of rising to a challenging situation. Everyone experiences stress at times and it can’t be avoided entirely. Learning to manage stress is what makes all the difference.
Stress can be positive and motivate us to prepare for events. But when we have too much it can seem as if it’s taking over.
Too much stress can make teens or young adults feel panicked or overwhelmed. When this happens, managing it becomes a challenge
In this article, you will find:
When communicating with a young person, it’s important to listen. This sounds obvious, but it can be difficult not to jump in and offer your point of view.
Listening more than you talk is a good starting point. Being a good listener takes skill and a lot of effort. It doesn’t necessarily come naturally.
Give young people time. It’s critical to really give young people time and attention if you want them to experience you as a good listener. We have all, at one time or other, tried to say something important to someone who was not really listening.
They may give this away by fidgeting, looking at something over our shoulder, checking their watch, or interrupting us. Can you recall how this made you feel?
It likely wasn’t a particularly pleasant feeling. You probably didn’t really feel listened to, understood or even important at that moment. If you’re not in a position to listen attentively to a young person, tell them and try choosing a better time for it.
One of the reasons young people might not open up is due to fear of being judged. Convey to the young person in your life you’re not here to judge them, but simply to listen.
Assure them no matter what they say, you will still care and be there for them. You are not going to think any less of them, regardless.
Separating a person’s behaviour from the person themselves can help manage our tendency towards judgement. Another trap we can fall into is jumping to conclusions. Once we do this, we stop listening, rather than truly hearing what the young person is saying.
Young people can often feel embarrassed or ashamed about their struggles. They often feel very alone, as if they are the only one experiencing these challenges. By normalising a young person’s feelings, you can reassure them.
Make sure you really listen to what is going on for that young person, and ask how they feel about it. Let them know that they are not alone.
