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My One Good Adult

In Jigsaw and UCD’s My World Survey in 2012, young people were asked if there was a special adult in their lives they could turn to when they were in need.

71% of young people had at least one adult they could talk to when they needed support. Here we asked Jigsaw Youth Advisory Panel volunteers who their One Good Adult was. Who is your one good adult?

Assertive communication

Assertive communication means expressing ourselves in a direct, open and honest way that is respectful of other people.

It is about communicating our needs to another person and working towards ‘win-win’ solutions to avoid confrontation.

Imagine a seesaw where passive communication is on one side and aggressiveness on the other. Assertiveness is the neutral, level middle ground.

Ask Jigsaw: Parents separated

My Mam and Dad separated recently and my Dad moved out. I am really angry with him for loads of different reasons. I have access with him on Saturday’s and its really awkward, we sit in McDonald’s and he asks really awkward questions about school and my Mam, I have told my Mam that I don’t want to go anymore and she says i have to go or else she will get in trouble with the court.

Its really getting to me because i think neither of them care about how i am feeling, they just care about the court and doing what they think they have to do, I done think anyone really cares about me and its getting me down

– Louise

Hi Louise,

When parents are separated it can bring up lots of emotions for people. We may feel relief, sadness, anger or fear about what will happen. It means change in terms of practical arrangements and often can have an impact on our relationships with parents.

Coming out about your sexuality

Whether it’s your first time coming out, or your hundredth, it can be both a daunting and liberating time.

Coming out begins with coming out to ourselves. We need to allow time to explore and discover who we are physically, romantically and sexually attracted to. Here are some tips that can be helpful to remember.

Ask Jigsaw: Hurt by brother’s rejection

I drunkenly told my brother I wanted to die and he responded with that I was an attention seeker and I would’ve just done it already if I wanted to. He expressed to my parents that he thinks they need to sort me out and I have no respect for anyone, as well as being an attention seeker.

I’ve tried to contact him to discuss our issues but he just insists everything is fine and superficial chit chat ensues. It hurts my parents to see us like this and I’m finding it hard not to lash out at the feelings of rejection I’ve felt since. I get upset and angry a lot because I feel extremely lonely a lot of the time.

I think my main fear is making any sort of mistake again and having everyone leave, this has really affected my trust and self worth. I think I tend to not Process things and bury them. Then this eventually erupts after a night of drinking and has awful effects. I guess I don’t know how to fix myself.

-Smcl96 *Please note this question has been edited in length from the original submission

Hi there Smcl96,

It sounds like you’ve been dealing with a lot, before and after the fallout, and that you haven’t got the support that you need and deserve. It takes a lot of courage to be honest about our mental health. When we do take that brave step, it can be devastating to be turned away. Your pain and feelings of rejection make sense.

Ask Jigsaw: Moody and snappy at home

I often become very angry and sad at home, my parents normally give out to me to being moody or snappy but I don’t know why do it. I feel like I am being treated unfairly but when I look back on the situation I don’t know why I got so angry or what the problem was to begin with. Sometimes I blame it on hormones but I don’t know if it is something else instead. I was wondering if there was a way to stop getting angry and have a better relationship with my family?

Hello,

Emotions can be complicated things. Sometimes there is a really obvious reason for why we feel sad or angry. Sometimes it can feel like strong emotions erupt out of nowhere. Often when emotions seem to come from nowhere, it is due to a buildup of lots of small things over time that affect us.

Ramadan during lockdown

Karima, a Jigsaw volunteer gives her story

Friday, 24 April was the first day of Ramadan for me and many other Muslims around the world.

This Ramadan will be different to the many others I’ve experienced, due to the current lockdown situation.

Throughout the month of Ramadan, most Muslims won’t eat or drink between dawn and sunset. This is known as fasting and it is one of the Five Pillars of Islam; alongside Faith, prayer, charity and doing Hajj (a journey to the city of Mecca). Ramadan is the ninth month of the Islamic calendar. As we use the lunar calendar, its date changes on a yearly basis that is based on the different moon cycles.

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