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Category: Asking for help

Mental health services for under 18s

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

It can be an overwhelming experience for a parent when your child is experiencing difficulties with their mental health.

There are many supports available to you and your son or daughter, but knowing what mental health services there are how and how to access them isn’t always easy.

Below we’ve listed some of the mental health services for under 18s in Ireland, how to access them, and costs. The service or organisation you go to depends on what your child is going through is considered mild, or more severe in nature. The first step to knowing this is going to your GP.

Coming out about your sexuality

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

Whether it’s your first time coming out, or your hundredth, it can be both a daunting and liberating time.

Coming out begins with coming out to ourselves. We need to allow time to explore and discover who we are physically, romantically and sexually attracted to. Here are some tips that can be helpful to remember.

Ask Jigsaw: Hurt by brother’s rejection

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

I drunkenly told my brother I wanted to die and he responded with that I was an attention seeker and I would’ve just done it already if I wanted to. He expressed to my parents that he thinks they need to sort me out and I have no respect for anyone, as well as being an attention seeker.

I’ve tried to contact him to discuss our issues but he just insists everything is fine and superficial chit chat ensues. It hurts my parents to see us like this and I’m finding it hard not to lash out at the feelings of rejection I’ve felt since. I get upset and angry a lot because I feel extremely lonely a lot of the time.

I think my main fear is making any sort of mistake again and having everyone leave, this has really affected my trust and self worth. I think I tend to not Process things and bury them. Then this eventually erupts after a night of drinking and has awful effects. I guess I don’t know how to fix myself.

-Smcl96 *Please note this question has been edited in length from the original submission

Hi there Smcl96,

It sounds like you’ve been dealing with a lot, before and after the fallout, and that you haven’t got the support that you need and deserve. It takes a lot of courage to be honest about our mental health. When we do take that brave step, it can be devastating to be turned away. Your pain and feelings of rejection make sense.

Dealing with change

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

We face many changes throughout our lives.

We might be finishing primary or secondary school, starting college, or getting a new job. Some of us decide to leave home or even move to a new country.

Change can occur within our families, such as separation, divorce, or the death of a family member. The world itself goes through many changes too. The political, environmental, and social environments are always in flux.

It can also be exciting, daunting, or exhausting. No matter what we feel about it, change is inevitable and can’t be avoided. When we’re finding it difficult, often the problem isn’t the change itself, but how we deal with it.

Emma’s story

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

When I was in Junior Cert, I felt a bit stressed, but so did everyone else. It wasn’t too bad, but I was looking forward to doing transition year for a bit of a break.

When I started in TY, things began to go downhill. My best friend had gone straight into fifth year and started hanging around with a new group. We weren’t spending as much time with each other and I didn’t feel like going out as much. You’re supposed to really enjoy TY, but I found it hard to get motivated.

It felt like there was no point in going in to school most days. I started having arguments with my mum about homework and getting up in the morning. Everything just felt boring and pointless.

It all came to a head when we were at my Nan’s 80th birthday. All my family were there and usually I’d really enjoy family parties, but I just didn’t feel like I wanted to be there. My aunt came up to me and started asking about school. You can tell when someone is just asking to be polite, but she was genuinely interested.

Ask Jigsaw: Obsessed with calorie counting

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

Hey, not sure if this is relevant so please feel free to ignore if there are better questions.

How do you know when you’re ‘bad enough’? I know that everyone says no problem is too small, but I can’t help but feel that if I seek help somewhere that I’d be taking the spot away from someone else who is more in need.

Over the past year, I’ve gotten super obsessed with counting my calories; restricting and then ‘binging’ (not really large amounts of food, just more than I think I should be eating) as a result, occasionally using other methods like appetite suppressants and laxatives to compensate. However, I don’t think that it’s serious as I’m not under weight or over weight yet, so I don’t think I have an eating disorder?
Not sure what I should do, I’d really appreciate an insight, as the new year is making me feel like there’s more I should be doing to be skinnier etc.

Thank you so much x

-Sershxo

Hi Sershxo,

Many people who have come to Jigsaw have worried that their problem isn’t ‘bad enough’ or that others need or deserve the support more. It is very difficult to compare problems, as there are usually so many different factors at play, including the issue or issues, the coping resources someone has, what is going on around them etc. Rather than thinking about other people who may access a service, it is more helpful to think about your own needs.

Ask Jigsaw: Coping with bereavement

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

My grandad recently passed away and i have been dealing with this horribly. Because of Covid-19 and the fact that we live in 2 different countries and that the borders are closed, i wasnt able to attend his funeral nor am i able to see my grandmother.

i dont sleep for 2 nights and then pass out for 15 hours because i cant bear to sleep, i feel as though everything has been dulled down and numb. this is bringing up a lot of sadness that ive been bottling up since 2nd year (im in 5th year now) and ive gotten so unstable.

yesterday my paints got mixed up and im pretty sure i had a mild panic attack. over paint. are there any healthy cpoing mechanisms or maybe a way of closure?

i just miss him, whenever we visited he used to tell us weird little jokes in our native language and take us to the corner store to get us gigantic ice creams in cones. i just miss him and it hurts so much, im too scared to think of him because i hate crying and making people worry about me which then leads to them trying to fix me which never works. i just dont know what to do anymore.

-Brick

Hi there Brick,

I’m sorry that you’re going through such a loss in what’s already a difficult time. Attending the funeral of a loved one can be a very important part of the grieving process. It gives us the chance to share fond memories, and to support one another in our grief. It makes sense that missing your Grandad’s funeral has made it difficult to process his death.

What are the mental health services for under-18s?

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

If you’re under 18 and having a difficult time, there are a few options to consider.

First, is there someone you can talk to about what’s going on? A member of your family or friend that you trust can be a good place to start. Or take a look at the articles here to help you figure out what you need. Sometimes this could be enough or can help you make sense of what you need and what you can do.

If you think you might need to get some support or advice from a professional, we’ve made a list of the mental health services available for young people under 18.

Which one is best for you depends on what you’re going through. Sometimes that initial conversation with a trusted adult helps identify what will help. Also, because of the law on consent, you will need to have a parent/guardian involved to get help from a lot of services and professionals.

So, the best first step is usually telling someone what’s going on for you. If you have a good enough relationship with a parent or guardian this can be a good place to start. If not, think about another adult you trust that you could talk to, like an aunt/uncle, older sibling or family friend.

In this article, you will find:

Webinar: Supporting your own mental health in lockdown

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

We ran a webinar for parents where two Jigsaw clinicians gave a presentation about supporting your mental health while social distancing. They then took questions from parents about what was going on for them.

The new measures can still throw up a lot of uncertainty and disappointment about plans that either have to postponed, or canceled. Keeping yourself and the young people in your life positive and motivated right now can take a bit of of extra work. Hopefully, this webinar covers useful tips for you to try at this time.

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