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Ask Jigsaw: Can’t tell anyone, really unhappy

I feel like nothing really makes me properly happy anymore. I’m always tired and I don’t feel enthusiastic about the things I used to. I know I should probably talk to someone or something but I feel like that might turn it into a big deal and that would make me feel worse. I don’t know if it’s just because of exam stress (I’m doing my JC this year) or because I don’t really sleep but I’ve felt like this for quite a long time and I feel like it would make people act awkward around me if I told someone. I hoped it would go away sooner but it hasn’t and I’m not sure what I should do.

-Sleepless

Ask Jigsaw: I want to help my friend but I don’t know what to do

A close friend of mine is going through a very tough time at the moment and I dont know what to do. Her parents wont help her get support because they dont understand what shes going through. I want to help her but I dont know what to do. She is willing to try a chat anonymously but I dont know where to find any number, can you help?

-Bumblebee

Hello Bumblebee,

It sounds like you and your friend have a very close relationship, and it’s great that she trusts you enough to share her problems with you. As she has not told many others, particularly her parents, it might feel like there is pressure for you to support her on your own. There are lots of things that you can do to support your friend. However, you are right to suggest that your friend gets help from others. Dealing with this on your own could lead you to feel a little stressed yourself, so do make sure you are looking after your own mental health.

Ask Jigsaw: Scrolling for Coronavirus information

I am finding it really difficult to stop scrolling on my phone cos I need information about what’s going on. I want to take a break, but I don’t want to miss out on any updates. Plus I want to stay in touch with my friends, but that can be drama too. Some of them are freaking out and some just think the whole thing is a joke and are going out anyway. I don’t know whether to just turn my phone off altogether or how do I limit it?

-Starfish

Hello Starfish,

A lot of young people joining the Jigsaw online group chat are also noticing a change in what they’re seeing on their phone, and how it’s affecting them. There is a direct link between the time we spend online and our mental health.

Ask Jigsaw: How do I know if I have an eating disorder?

How do I know that I am developing an eating disorder and how should I explain it to my parents and therapist?

Hi there,

Noticing a change in our mental health can be a little frightening. It’s not unusual to seek a diagnosis for us to better understand what’s going on. If you have noticed a change in how you think about your body, or how you feel and/or act in relation to food, it’s important to explore this further. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you have an eating disorder. Quite often, if we get the right support when we first notice these changes, we can prevent things from getting worse. In other cases, we might need to get a diagnosis to access a higher level of support. You can find out more about the development of eating disorders at Body Whys.

Mental health services for under 18s

It can be an overwhelming experience for a parent when your child is experiencing difficulties with their mental health.

There are many supports available to you and your son or daughter, but knowing what mental health services there are how and how to access them isn’t always easy.

Below we’ve listed some of the mental health services for under 18s in Ireland, how to access them, and costs. The service or organisation you go to depends on what your child is going through is considered mild, or more severe in nature. The first step to knowing this is going to your GP.

Coming out about your sexuality

Whether it’s your first time coming out, or your hundredth, it can be both a daunting and liberating time.

Coming out begins with coming out to ourselves. We need to allow time to explore and discover who we are physically, romantically and sexually attracted to. Here are some tips that can be helpful to remember.

Ask Jigsaw: Hurt by brother’s rejection

I drunkenly told my brother I wanted to die and he responded with that I was an attention seeker and I would’ve just done it already if I wanted to. He expressed to my parents that he thinks they need to sort me out and I have no respect for anyone, as well as being an attention seeker.

I’ve tried to contact him to discuss our issues but he just insists everything is fine and superficial chit chat ensues. It hurts my parents to see us like this and I’m finding it hard not to lash out at the feelings of rejection I’ve felt since. I get upset and angry a lot because I feel extremely lonely a lot of the time.

I think my main fear is making any sort of mistake again and having everyone leave, this has really affected my trust and self worth. I think I tend to not Process things and bury them. Then this eventually erupts after a night of drinking and has awful effects. I guess I don’t know how to fix myself.

-Smcl96 *Please note this question has been edited in length from the original submission

Hi there Smcl96,

It sounds like you’ve been dealing with a lot, before and after the fallout, and that you haven’t got the support that you need and deserve. It takes a lot of courage to be honest about our mental health. When we do take that brave step, it can be devastating to be turned away. Your pain and feelings of rejection make sense.

Dealing with change

We face many changes throughout our lives.

We might be finishing primary or secondary school, starting college, or getting a new job. Some of us decide to leave home or even move to a new country.

Change can occur within our families, such as separation, divorce, or the death of a family member. The world itself goes through many changes too. The political, environmental, and social environments are always in flux.

It can also be exciting, daunting, or exhausting. No matter what we feel about it, change is inevitable and can’t be avoided. When we’re finding it difficult, often the problem isn’t the change itself, but how we deal with it.