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Category: Stress

Sarah’s story: Managing exam stress

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

Sarah* contacted Jigsaw about four months before her Leaving Cert exams. She had been feeling anxious for a while, but in the last few weeks she’d had two panic attacks.

Her main worry was that she’d get a panic attack in an exam. “I have to get rid of this anxiety now”, she told the clinician, “before my mocks”.

Identifying triggers for stress

Sarah’s clinician wanted to know more about the anxiety and panic attacks. When did they happen? Was there a trigger? They discovered Sarah’s panic attacks happened just after Sarah’s teachers mentioned study plans or expected study hours in class.

When her history teacher said, “you all should have covered this section in your revision plan already”, Sarah felt her heart beating fast and chest getting tight. She rushed to the toilet because she felt she couldn’t breathe. She barely remembers the rest of the day.

The Jigsaw clinician helped Sarah realise her panic attacks were connected to worries she was too far behind on study. She thought she’d never be able to catch up.

This connected to deeper worries of failing her exams, being unable to get into college or ever getting a job. That would lead her to be a “complete failure” in life. The clinician asked her to step back, look at the facts and be realistic about what could happen. They discussed strategies for managing exam stress.

Together they looked at Sarah’s schedule. The clinician asked Sarah to draw out her weekly calendar. She coloured in the hours she spent studying as blue, with different colours for other activities. When she was finished, Sarah’s waking hours were almost completely blue.

Emily’s story: Living with an essential worker

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

Emily, 18, a Jigsaw volunteer from Donegal gives us her story: As the daughter of an essential worker, I’ve come to recognise that quitting time is non-existent these days for some workers. 

Dinner time is rarely a shared occasion.  As I write this, she’s on phone call number two of the day, on her day off.  This is the new normal for myself, and a lot of other young people living with an essential worker during this pandemic.

Dealing with the stress of it all

For many young adults in Ireland over the past few months, there has been additional stress added to the fact that they are living through a global pandemic.  For some, almost overnight, they have gained a new responsibility, not only for themselves but for siblings and other family members too, because their parents have been occupied with helping to fight the ongoing crisis.  For myself, as well as trying to keep on top of college work, I have been looking after my five younger siblings.  This includes doing washing, tidying up the house and making sure they are all fed and watered, as well as checking in to make sure they are ok with their schoolwork.  This has been stressful and frustrating at times, but overall very rewarding to know that the pressure is taken off my mammy somewhat when she gets home from work in the evenings.

I have found a few different ways of working in order to help myself and the others in my house as much as possible.  My hope is that by sharing them, I can help other young people that find themselves in the same situation as myself.  They include:

Planning

Even if it is just a basic list of things I need to do the next day, writing a list always helps me to stay motivated and keep going throughout the day to get as much done as I can.

Five a day for your mental health

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

Based on the ‘Five Ways to Wellbeing‘ report 2008 by the New Economics Foundation (NEF), here are five things you can do daily for your mental health.

The UK Government commissioned the NEF to develop a simple set of evidence-based actions for people to improve their wellbeing. NEF drew on a very broad base of research for their recommendations, from psychological to economic literature.

Ask Jigsaw: Feeling trapped with parents arguing

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

Hi,

I was just wondering if you have any advice of how to cope with feeling really trapped as a result of covid?

As usual, my parents are fighting non stop and I would normally just stay outside a lot longer or be with friends to avoid being at home and experiencing it, but now that I’m home all the time, I’ve been having to deal with it a lot more.

This has also often ended up with me getting in the middle of their conflict (often to side my mam) and then ending up arguing with my dad.

I just can’t help but feel hopeless as I wonder when things will be a bit normal, so that I don’t have to be at home all the time/ listen to them argue 24/7.

I can’t really talk to them about its impact on me as neither of them listen to anyone else’s views, apart from their own.

Anyway I don’t know if what I just said even makes sense but I’ve just been feeling really horrible recently and don’t know how to cope with it all, like it’s making me really dislike my parents (which I end up feeling guilty about- but that’s a whole different story).

Thanks 4 reading this and replying, if you do ? x

– Lilah

Hi Lilah,

It makes total sense! Sounds like a lot of the challenges you were managing at home have become amplified due to COVID-19 restrictions. On top of that, some of your usual coping strategies aren’t available to you anymore. It’s important that you remember your parents’ fights are not your fault.

Supporting mental health while social distancing

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

Social distancing measures we need to take to prevent the spread of Coronavirus will no doubt have an impact on our mental health.

Our clinical team in Limerick are staying in touch through Zoom for team meetings. Here they discuss what in particular they are finding difficult, but also how they are looking after their own mental health and what you can do too.

Ask Jigsaw: Supporting my friends

Posted on by Eve Donnelly

All of my close friend have been through bad mental health. Some just took time off school to reboot, some to therapists , and some to cahms/st.pats. I’ve been there for all of them throughout the years. First one was age 9 to now. Some are doing good and some are going down the wrong path into drugs. One in particular who I’ve known for my whole life is now known as the ‘popular pretty girl who was in a mental hospital’. She’s now heavy on drugs and can’t go a few days without going out and taking more. I don’t know what to do it’s starting to eat me up inside and now I can see myself going down the same path as the others in terms of mental health.

I was the strong happy funny kind girl who everyone counted on and vented to but now it’s all getting too much and I can’t separate myself because they all need my help but I also can’t continue doing this because I’m slowly losing my mind. I’m going into 6th year now so I want school to be my number one concern but my friends are all good in a bad place and I need to be there for them so I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I’m making sense there’s so much more to it and my minds going crazy.

I just need advice on how to balance helping my friends , school , social life and my own mental health and prepare myself for 6th year.

-Butterfly

Hi Butterfly,

It’s sounds like you are a really compassionate person and have been there for a lot of your friends over the years. While it is a nice to be able to support others, without a doubt it can take a toll on us. You may have heard the flight attendant on an airplane telling you to ‘look after your own mask first’. This is because, unless we prioritise looking after ourselves, we won’t have the capacity to be there for someone else. Looking after your own mental health is not a luxury, it is a necessity.

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